Shanghai Trip - Day 5
The day it all started to go downhill. Woke up most definitely sick. One does not want to wake up sick with god only knows what, in China. A friend of mine once told me that flu vaccines are made each year from the strains of flu viruses that appear in China 6 months earlier. If there's something, it comes out of China. Basically, it's a hotbed of nasty diseases, and despite my constant Purelling, I had gotten sick.
Of course, this didn't stop me from getting out of bed, as today, we were actually going OUT to eat, rather than going down to La Seine. We went to one of those Chinese Colonel's places for a breakfast of hot soy bean milk, and Chinese fried donuts.
Can you spot what's strange about the following pic???
No? Here's a different angle...
You may be thinking, "Hmm, isn't that man sitting by himself in the background Sareet's Grandpa? Why is he sitting by himself?????"
The answer: Chinese Costanzas.
Sometimes things happen in my family that no one understands, until later, when all the witnesses to a bizarre event share snippets of conversations they've overheard or observations they've made and they put it all together and voila!, there is an answer. On this particular day, while my mom, Aunt June and I were hungrily looking at the menu and ordering our breakfast at the counter at the Chinese Colonel's, the Chinese Costanzas were bickering about which table to sit at. Grandpa wanted to sit at the table that's closest to the camera (the one where Aunt June and my mom are sitting at in the first pic). Grandma thought it was too sunny. Later, she caved and sat down. Of course, everyone was oblivious to this argument as they were busy ordering - I however had overheard this somewhat and was able to provide the missing piece to the puzzle later.
However, at the moment, I hadn't given much thought to this. We were happily eating when Grandma got up, without saying a word, and sat down at the other table (the one in the back). Aunt June, Mom, and I looked at each other - WTF??? Grandma muttered something about it being too sunny, I offered to exchange chairs with her, she declined and said it's fine, she didn't want to cause a FUSS, so she'll just sit right here by herself. Sigh.
No less than two minutes later, Grandpa couldn't bear the thought of Grandma sitting alone, so he got up and sat down next to her at the back table.
But you may be thinking, but in the pics, Grandpa is sitting ALONE...?
Ah, but you forget that Grandpa is "ANNOYING," and Grandma warned him that she didn't want to DEAL with his crap today (I actually did hear this warning early in the morning when I first woke up) and she most definitely did NOT want to sit with him, which is why she proceeded to get up, ditch Grandpa, and rejoin us at the first table.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, "The Chinese Costanzas!"
(I will probably get in trouble for putting this on the blog...)
Anyway, back to the day on hand.
After breakfast, we went on a hunt for face masks (my mother's request, since she did want to get sick) and some medicine for me. Sadly, China does not import U.S. meds, and I was not about to try any of that herbal junk that they sell, so we had to settle for just the masks. And man, they are a bitch! I couldn't really stand wearing them, but I did humor my mom and kept one on for a few hours.
I decided to spend the morning resting, while the family went out shopping, in an attempt to ward off whatever the hell I caught. They came back and brought all sorts of goodies and snacks to eat. I was feeling much better and I think we must have gone out to dinner, but I don't seem to have any pics or notes on where we went! I'll have to ask my family...
Aha, I just got off the phone with my mom who reminded me of what we did that night. She also reminded me of why we didn't take any pics - we were all too terrified of the Chinese Costanzas to take any pics, because, yes, we were given an encore performance.
Day 5 should really be known as "The Day Grandma Decided to Sit By Herself - TWICE."
I should back up and first explain that Mrs. Carrier Monkey (from Day 1) had kindly sent us a large basket of fresh hairy crabs earlier that week. There was some urgency in eating them, since they have to be cooked within 1-2 days, and crabs are definitely not something that can be reheated so once you cook them, you have to eat them right away. As of Day 5, we still hadn't eaten them yet.
Anyway, after doing some afternoon shopping, we had to decide what to do for dinner. It was still somewhat early so Grandpa suggested we go to this mall, where there is an excellent Japanese Hot Pot restaurant in the food court area. Kind of like Korean bbq, where you cook your own food at the table, but rather than grilling, you get a large pot of hot boiling soup, and you add your own veggies and meat to it, and then dip them in different sauces. Unbeknownst to us, there was a Chinese Costanza Category 4 Storm brewing. We found the restaurant and had to put down a deposit in order to make a reservation. Grandma watched this but said nothing. The plan was to shop at this mall for about 45 minutes, before eating as it was still early. Well, we had all started to wander away when we noticed an inexplicably sulky Grandma just sitting in the food court. We figured she must be tired from shopping all day and hungry so we decided hell, let's just eat now, even though no one was particularly hungry. Just as the waitress was about to take her order, she announced that she didn't feel well and didn't want to eat. Huh??? She had not mentioned feeling sick at all, up to this point. Anyway, she got up, leaving the rest of us at the table and proceeded to go shopping by herself. Half way into our now, rather awkward meal, she returned and decided, without saying hi to us, to sit silently by herself at a nearby table. And glare.
So, we were all worried that she was sick, but at the same time terrified that she'd explode into some sort of angry rage (really, we had no idea what was going on at the time - as usual we figured it out much later) so we just ate as quickly as possible (thus, no pics) and retreated into our bedrooms as soon as we returned to the service apartment. Suddenly, the next thing I know, Grandma was cooking up the hairy crabs. No one was particularly hungry, but again no one had the guts not to eat the crabs she cooked (except Mom), so my Aunt June and Grandpa sportingly each managed to eat two crabs. My mother, rebellious by nature, ignored all this and went to bed. I luckily had the excuse of being sick, and according to Chinese medicine, one does not eat crabs when one is sick. So I too was spared.
Later, we put on our CSI gloves and gathered all our evidence and figured out:
1.) Grandma was not sick
2.) Grandma does not like Japanese hot pot
3.) Grandma thought we should have gone back to the hotel, eaten the crabs first before going out to dinner, so as not to spoil our appetite (which did make sense, in all fairness)
4.) She TOLD Grandpa that, but he wouldn't listen
5.) Apparently, according to her, we all liked Grandpa more, which is why we followed him to the Japanese hot pot place and didn't listen to her advice. The advice she didn't tell us about when we were figuring out where to eat, putting down the deposit for the reservation, deciding to eat earlier, etc.
The Chinese Costanzas. They may look cute in pics, but beware!!!
(Am SO going to get in trouble for this...)
Of course, this didn't stop me from getting out of bed, as today, we were actually going OUT to eat, rather than going down to La Seine. We went to one of those Chinese Colonel's places for a breakfast of hot soy bean milk, and Chinese fried donuts.
Can you spot what's strange about the following pic???
No? Here's a different angle...
You may be thinking, "Hmm, isn't that man sitting by himself in the background Sareet's Grandpa? Why is he sitting by himself?????"
The answer: Chinese Costanzas.
Sometimes things happen in my family that no one understands, until later, when all the witnesses to a bizarre event share snippets of conversations they've overheard or observations they've made and they put it all together and voila!, there is an answer. On this particular day, while my mom, Aunt June and I were hungrily looking at the menu and ordering our breakfast at the counter at the Chinese Colonel's, the Chinese Costanzas were bickering about which table to sit at. Grandpa wanted to sit at the table that's closest to the camera (the one where Aunt June and my mom are sitting at in the first pic). Grandma thought it was too sunny. Later, she caved and sat down. Of course, everyone was oblivious to this argument as they were busy ordering - I however had overheard this somewhat and was able to provide the missing piece to the puzzle later.
However, at the moment, I hadn't given much thought to this. We were happily eating when Grandma got up, without saying a word, and sat down at the other table (the one in the back). Aunt June, Mom, and I looked at each other - WTF??? Grandma muttered something about it being too sunny, I offered to exchange chairs with her, she declined and said it's fine, she didn't want to cause a FUSS, so she'll just sit right here by herself. Sigh.
No less than two minutes later, Grandpa couldn't bear the thought of Grandma sitting alone, so he got up and sat down next to her at the back table.
But you may be thinking, but in the pics, Grandpa is sitting ALONE...?
Ah, but you forget that Grandpa is "ANNOYING," and Grandma warned him that she didn't want to DEAL with his crap today (I actually did hear this warning early in the morning when I first woke up) and she most definitely did NOT want to sit with him, which is why she proceeded to get up, ditch Grandpa, and rejoin us at the first table.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, "The Chinese Costanzas!"
(I will probably get in trouble for putting this on the blog...)
Anyway, back to the day on hand.
After breakfast, we went on a hunt for face masks (my mother's request, since she did want to get sick) and some medicine for me. Sadly, China does not import U.S. meds, and I was not about to try any of that herbal junk that they sell, so we had to settle for just the masks. And man, they are a bitch! I couldn't really stand wearing them, but I did humor my mom and kept one on for a few hours.
I decided to spend the morning resting, while the family went out shopping, in an attempt to ward off whatever the hell I caught. They came back and brought all sorts of goodies and snacks to eat. I was feeling much better and I think we must have gone out to dinner, but I don't seem to have any pics or notes on where we went! I'll have to ask my family...
Aha, I just got off the phone with my mom who reminded me of what we did that night. She also reminded me of why we didn't take any pics - we were all too terrified of the Chinese Costanzas to take any pics, because, yes, we were given an encore performance.
Day 5 should really be known as "The Day Grandma Decided to Sit By Herself - TWICE."
I should back up and first explain that Mrs. Carrier Monkey (from Day 1) had kindly sent us a large basket of fresh hairy crabs earlier that week. There was some urgency in eating them, since they have to be cooked within 1-2 days, and crabs are definitely not something that can be reheated so once you cook them, you have to eat them right away. As of Day 5, we still hadn't eaten them yet.
Anyway, after doing some afternoon shopping, we had to decide what to do for dinner. It was still somewhat early so Grandpa suggested we go to this mall, where there is an excellent Japanese Hot Pot restaurant in the food court area. Kind of like Korean bbq, where you cook your own food at the table, but rather than grilling, you get a large pot of hot boiling soup, and you add your own veggies and meat to it, and then dip them in different sauces. Unbeknownst to us, there was a Chinese Costanza Category 4 Storm brewing. We found the restaurant and had to put down a deposit in order to make a reservation. Grandma watched this but said nothing. The plan was to shop at this mall for about 45 minutes, before eating as it was still early. Well, we had all started to wander away when we noticed an inexplicably sulky Grandma just sitting in the food court. We figured she must be tired from shopping all day and hungry so we decided hell, let's just eat now, even though no one was particularly hungry. Just as the waitress was about to take her order, she announced that she didn't feel well and didn't want to eat. Huh??? She had not mentioned feeling sick at all, up to this point. Anyway, she got up, leaving the rest of us at the table and proceeded to go shopping by herself. Half way into our now, rather awkward meal, she returned and decided, without saying hi to us, to sit silently by herself at a nearby table. And glare.
So, we were all worried that she was sick, but at the same time terrified that she'd explode into some sort of angry rage (really, we had no idea what was going on at the time - as usual we figured it out much later) so we just ate as quickly as possible (thus, no pics) and retreated into our bedrooms as soon as we returned to the service apartment. Suddenly, the next thing I know, Grandma was cooking up the hairy crabs. No one was particularly hungry, but again no one had the guts not to eat the crabs she cooked (except Mom), so my Aunt June and Grandpa sportingly each managed to eat two crabs. My mother, rebellious by nature, ignored all this and went to bed. I luckily had the excuse of being sick, and according to Chinese medicine, one does not eat crabs when one is sick. So I too was spared.
Later, we put on our CSI gloves and gathered all our evidence and figured out:
1.) Grandma was not sick
2.) Grandma does not like Japanese hot pot
3.) Grandma thought we should have gone back to the hotel, eaten the crabs first before going out to dinner, so as not to spoil our appetite (which did make sense, in all fairness)
4.) She TOLD Grandpa that, but he wouldn't listen
5.) Apparently, according to her, we all liked Grandpa more, which is why we followed him to the Japanese hot pot place and didn't listen to her advice. The advice she didn't tell us about when we were figuring out where to eat, putting down the deposit for the reservation, deciding to eat earlier, etc.
The Chinese Costanzas. They may look cute in pics, but beware!!!
(Am SO going to get in trouble for this...)
posted by S at 11:48 AM
5 Comments:
I'm just glad Grandma can't read English and Grandpa doesn't know how to use a computer.
Hopefully the rest of my family will keep quiet about this!
Oh my god - Can we please make a movie about the Chinese Costanzas? It would be hilarious! This is amazing material.
It's like a Chinese National Lampoon Vacation movie, isn't it?
OMG, sis, I never thought about it that way. But you are soooooooo right!!! Grandma and Grandpa really ARE the Chinese Costanzas!!! I'll never watch Seinfield the same way ever again!!
Yeah, actually Aunt Marilyn was the one who came up with the "Chinese Costanzas" description. She would know!
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