An Open Plea to My Friends

Well, tonight Plumb and I are throwing a joint birthday party at this fun open patio bar place. I'm really excited and am anticipating having a great time. I've already decided that the word of the night should be "moderation" because I really don't want a nasty hangover, but just in case my resolve should fail, I thought I'd make a plea to my friends who read this and who will be there tonight:

1. Please do not let me mix dark liquors (whiskey, bourbon, etc.) with light ones (vodka, rum) as I hear that can be the source of a nasty hangover.

2. Please do not let me or make me (I don't think any of you are that type, but just in case) do shots because, well, there's a good chance it'll immediately come straight back up - on to you.

3. Please encourage me to drink water in between drinks. Or at least something with a mixer. (as in - do not let me drink martinis the whole night, regardless of what I may say)

4. Please point out steps, doorways, chairs, and table corners as sometimes these things like to unexpectedly jump into my way.

5. Please hold my hair back.

6. Please remind me to hover over a toilet seat, and not actually sit down, as this will spare me countless hours of OCD anguish Saturday morning.

7. Please do not let me dance, if there isn't any music playing.

8. Please do not let me take off my heels and walk around barefoot, even if I complain of my feet hurting, as this too will spare me countless hours of OCD anguish Saturday morning.

9. Please do not let me decide, even if I'm convinced no one can see, to undo the jeans buttons, on account of my jeans being too tight around the stomach.

10. Please do not let me decide, even if I'm convinced no one can see, to take off my jeans, on account of my jeans being too tight around the stomach.

Your efforts are greatly appreciated.