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Monday, July 11, 2005

Manic Monday

Well, there is nothing quite like starting off the work week with a screaming match.

Pig and I were just minding our own business, humming Hollaback Girl on our way to the office, when we nearly got hit by an idiot driving a BMW. An UGLY OLD BUTT-FACE IDIOT driving a BMW. I don't know quite how to describe it without illustrations, but we were walking straight down a sidewalk and had just stepped off the curb to cross the little residential street, when this UGLY OLD BUTT-FACE IDIOT WHO CAN JUST GO FUCK HIMSELF had decided to make a left turn onto our street and nearly hit us. Which was bad enough but when I gave him a nasty glare, he gave ME a nasty glare, and then STOPPED his car, rolled down his window and proceeded to yell at me. I, of course, had plenty of choice words to scream back at him and rather shrilly (because I was so furious) reminded him that pedestrians have the right of way. Which they do (copied from the CA DMV website):

A crosswalk is that part of the pavement where the sidewalk lines would extend across the street and it is set aside for pedestrian traffic. Every intersection has a pedestrian crosswalk whether or not there are painted lines on the street. Most crosswalks are at corners but they can also be in the middle of the block. Before turning a corner, watch for people about to cross the street. Pedestrians have the right of way in crosswalks.

I half hoped that he'd get out and really try to start a fight because the one thing my family is good at is fighting with random strangers over traffic and then threatening to call the police and press charges. Once, in Hong Kong, my mom and her four sisters got into a screaming match with this nasty couple over a parking spot. I seem to recall one of my aunts walking away with scratches on her arm, and another with bruises. And a bent umbrella. (although I don't remember if the bent umbrella was a result of one my aunts hitting someone with it...) They left me, my brother and sister in the car, so I never really got a good understanding of what happened. I always just found it hysterical that all five of them, plus three kids, were in the same car - clown car style.

Anyway, I have no problems telling off random people, although I'm glad that this time, it didn't result in an angry racist homeless man spitting on me (I've told that story somewhere here on this blog, right? I'll have to go through the archives)

What a way to start the week.

9 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I almost got hit here by a nurse two weeks ago and I swear to God we almost killed each other. I caught myself screaming bloody murder and using some pretty choice words - in front of the building where I work. I couldn't even tell if I was more angry or embarassed but I made a point of taking down her licence plate number and pretending I was going to call the cops. Ooh, don't even get me started. When she came close enough to hit me (in sidewalk of course) I slammed her car with my notebook which is what started the screaming match. I hate people sometimes. -aj

1:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There's a shouting match on the street where I live at least twice a week- usually more. I'm not sure what it is about our street, or if it is just NY in general. People really look like they might get in fist fights though. Drivers put it in park and get out. Unreal. I can see being mad, but when it comes to blows- in BROOKLYN- seriously... I'm not that tough. The best part is that it is usually some skinny white guy on a bike- full helmet and dingy bell, usually some spandex, yelling at a biggie smalls looking guy in an escalade. Who really thinks that's a fight?

1:46 PM  
Blogger S said...

I've totally slammed other people's car with whatever I have handy when that bullshit happens...which of course starts a screaming match.

I was just so annoyed...and I would have liked to see this asshole get of his car and even try to fight, because I'm pretty sure the cops would be sympathetic to me. Me - a 27 year old, 5'5, 115 lbs woman with an older dalmatian, up again this well over 40 year old burly man. And did I mention he had an UGLY BUTT-FACE???

3:22 PM  
Blogger LypstykGirl said...

People are just unreal. I like that he was more concerned that his BMW would get dented than almost taking life.

I was driving once when an SUV swerved left out of a gas station, almost got hit by oncoming traffic and then almost hit my car when he pulled in front of me - and I tried to give him room. I honked at him so he pulled alongside and started yelling at me! I smiled at him, turned up my radio, and rolled up the window. Apparently, he did not find that as amusing as I did; he continued to drive alongside me for a minute, like I was supposed to find that threatening.

4:45 PM  
Blogger ElliottPreciousPants said...

Oh my God, a homeless man spit on you? I'm a little surprised that you lived through that one.

I'm glad you didn't get hit though. Pig would have helped in the fight I am sure--dogs are very protective of their owners.

9:43 AM  
Blogger S said...

Lypstykgirl - that sounds like a good comeback - I'm sure it annoyed the hell out of him. Maybe I'll try it next time.

Elliot - Yes, I got spat on by a homeless man. Considering my feelings about germs...you can imagine how traumatized I was.

Briefly, the story:

My family had come to LA to visit and I had taken them down to the garment/fashion district, this part of LA that has really cheap clothes. It's primarily outdoors, sort of flea markety, very crowded. Anyway, I was standing there, looking at some jewelry, when this guy taps me on my shoulder with his empty cup. Now, maybe I shouldn't have ignored him, but I did. And then he started with the threats, "I'll spit on you, you (*racist slur*)" He said this over and over again, and of course I didn't think he meant it LITERALLY, just more like "I look down you, you (*racist slur*)"

Anyway, I was irritated, and tried to get my mom to move along so we could get away from him, but she didn't hear me. My sister did though and I could see she was beginnig to look concernced because this guy was really big, and really crazy looking. So then, and I really should have said this in Chinese, rather than in English (duh) I said to my mom, loudly, "MOM - WE HAVE TO GET MOVING, THIS ASSHOLE'S ANNOYING ME!" She was like "Huh?" but just as I started to shuffle her away,

HOCK..SPLAT.

He spat on me. Big nasty loogey. Hit me on my back and the side of my face. I whipped around and just screamed and cursed and pretty much scared my mom, who had never heard, "THAT FUCKING ASSHOLE SPAT ON ME!!!" come out of my mouth. He had bolted so there was no way getting back at him.

Worst part was the my sister got in the crossfire and really took the brunt (sp) of spit.

I had to change in the car and we made it back home and had to wash everything immediately...for obvious reasons.

11:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ew. i normally do my best to discourage germaphobia, especially for people who are overly worried (sareet) and for people who insist on using that alcohol gel outside of a health care setting. In this case, however, did you get a tb test? For real? Did any get in your eye? and did you get a tb test? maybe a tb test would be a good idea. You dealt with that better than i would have, since I think I would have killed him. Once, a homeless dude started peeing in my ambulance, and I had to seriously restrain myself. and did i say- ew.

12:39 PM  
Blogger S said...

Oh god, what are you trying to do to me Melissa?

Consumption? You think I might have caught consumption????

Well, the man definitely didn't look sick. Frankly he didn't even look homeless, which is part of the reason why I ignored him. It didn't hit me in the eye, it did hit me in my ear though, as I recall. This was last summer and I've felt fine since.

Except I do have a bit of cough this morning...

Damn, now I got to go get a tb test.

12:51 PM  
Blogger ElliottPreciousPants said...

Oh God!

That's sooo disgusting! I'm not even a germaphobe, and that horrifies me.

I never would have thought of a TB test.

2:52 PM  

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