Anti-Dentite
Just came back from the dentist. Sometimes I wonder if I really do have cavities - seems like it could be a pretty good scam to me. At this rate, and because he keeps giving me silver (gray) fillings, I'm going to look like an orc from LOTR before I turn 30.
Dentist visit was okay. He made me quite nervous actually. Nice guy, but I dunno. Here are some things he said to me that made me uncomfortable:
"Don't ask so many questions now, I need to concentrate."
"Does this hurt?
"Let me know if this hurts"
"Does this hurt? Because the anesthetic only lasts a short period of time and sometimes people feel pain."
"Ugh, this one is tricky. Way in the back."
"Yeah, this one's tricky, especially since you have a small mouth." Which is true. Oddly, I have deceivingly big gummy smile - too big and too gummy, as my grandma never fails to mention during family picture time (thanks, love you too!)- that masks an apparently small mouth. Once during family picture time, I decided to smile with my mouth totally closed, lips pressed together, in an attempt to avoid the inevitable comment from grandma, but instead she said "Why are you smiling so unnaturally like that???" It's a lose-lose situation. Don't worry though, my gummy smile and bra size are things I've accepted long ago.
I really really hate getting my cavities filled. I think the worst part is the smell of ground teeth. Is it just me, or does it totally smell like a fly burnt on a halogen lamp? That's all I can think about. Last time I almost threw up, which would have been something legitimate to blog about. He had told me to "go ahead and spit" and I didn't know that he meant I could use water to rinse my mouth, so I tried to spit out bits of teeth that had dropped down to the back of my throat, but my mouth was totally dry on account of the suction hose thing that had been in there, and I honest to god gagged and nearly threw up in the little mouth rinse sink.
I also think they should give me goggles or something. All these little bits of ground teeth flying around, getting into my eyes. Of course I could just close my eyes, but I'm too terrified to so I spend the whole time there, rigid in the chair, staring at some stupid windchime thing hanging from the ceiling, getting nauseaus from the burnt fly smell.
Anyway. Nearly got into a car accident driving to the office as I was checking out my filling in the rearview mirror. I'm hungry but I'm not supposed to eat for another hour. And of course, I have terrible craving for caramel.
Dentist visit was okay. He made me quite nervous actually. Nice guy, but I dunno. Here are some things he said to me that made me uncomfortable:
"Don't ask so many questions now, I need to concentrate."
"Does this hurt?
"Let me know if this hurts"
"Does this hurt? Because the anesthetic only lasts a short period of time and sometimes people feel pain."
"Ugh, this one is tricky. Way in the back."
"Yeah, this one's tricky, especially since you have a small mouth." Which is true. Oddly, I have deceivingly big gummy smile - too big and too gummy, as my grandma never fails to mention during family picture time (thanks, love you too!)- that masks an apparently small mouth. Once during family picture time, I decided to smile with my mouth totally closed, lips pressed together, in an attempt to avoid the inevitable comment from grandma, but instead she said "Why are you smiling so unnaturally like that???" It's a lose-lose situation. Don't worry though, my gummy smile and bra size are things I've accepted long ago.
I really really hate getting my cavities filled. I think the worst part is the smell of ground teeth. Is it just me, or does it totally smell like a fly burnt on a halogen lamp? That's all I can think about. Last time I almost threw up, which would have been something legitimate to blog about. He had told me to "go ahead and spit" and I didn't know that he meant I could use water to rinse my mouth, so I tried to spit out bits of teeth that had dropped down to the back of my throat, but my mouth was totally dry on account of the suction hose thing that had been in there, and I honest to god gagged and nearly threw up in the little mouth rinse sink.
I also think they should give me goggles or something. All these little bits of ground teeth flying around, getting into my eyes. Of course I could just close my eyes, but I'm too terrified to so I spend the whole time there, rigid in the chair, staring at some stupid windchime thing hanging from the ceiling, getting nauseaus from the burnt fly smell.
Anyway. Nearly got into a car accident driving to the office as I was checking out my filling in the rearview mirror. I'm hungry but I'm not supposed to eat for another hour. And of course, I have terrible craving for caramel.
posted by S at 12:04 PM
3 Comments:
I don't recall your smile being gummy. Weird. I never noticed that.
I think you exaggerate again.
Hey, I finished HP-HBP last night, and I have some questions for you. I think I missed something, but I don't want to give anthing away on the blog. Call me.
Funny - I was at the dentist today too. Got myself a crown - my first one ever. I feel old ...
i talked to my dentist once about the scam. it's true, he confirmed. My story is that i grew up sorta broke, and didn't go to the dentist as a kid. ever. adam gave me a hard time about it when i finally had to get my wisdom teeth out (i was 19), so i went and got a cleaning too. they asked how long since the last cleaning, when i was making the appt.
"well, i've never had one."
sharp draw of breath. "well, we should make you two appts, since it will take a really long time to clean your teeth." so i was super ashamed. i made two back to back appts and went in, expecting the worst. i sat in the chair, the hygenist looked, and said, uhoh- someone missed their check up!
She thought I was late for a reg appt, and when i told her i never had been for a cleaning, she was amazed. it didn't take nearly the two appt times, and other people came in to see my teeth, because i didn't have a single cavity. I started going every 6 mos, and by the time i was 21, i had 4 cavities.
I said to my cambridge dentist, "ya think it's possible that the stuff you're scrapping off is protecting my teeth from cavities?"
"Oh, definately." WHAT??? he says that the tartar can protect your teeth from cavities, but will make your gums unhealthy, and then your cavity-free teeth will fall out. I let him keep up the scam and finish the cleaning. definately burnt fly smell... el yucko.
Post a Comment
<< Home