Pork Loin Disaster

Well, I don't think I can really pull off this Super Secret Special Pork Loin dish. It's been a nightmare. I'm not going to give away any family secrets here but all I can say is that...well, I don't think it's going to work. And I want it to be a surprise for the potluck so I'm not going to describe the dish either in case any potluck attenders read this. All I'll say - and this is to my family members - is that I..um..well...the insides are going to fall out through the holes I accidentally poked. There. Hope you guys know what I'm talking about. Also, I think the insides are going to roll around...the inside...and not stick...to...er...the outside. Cuz there's too much loose space.

And btw, my loin is huge. I got it at costco, and it's almost the length of two keyboards. I was actually pretty grossed out by it. Looks like a big fat skinned python.