Pig's Eating Habits 2
So I was thinking over Pig's binges and decided to actually write them down. Each line lists what she ate in one binge:
-Entire package of beef jerky (14 oz) with the exception of the Do-Not-Eat silica gel thing
-Two packages of Butoni pasta, two packages of cheese, a package of roast beef, a bag of rolls
-A container of butter (actually she just licked it round and round but didn't eat the entire thing thank god), two individual sized applesauce containers, half a loaf of bread
-two boxes of raisins and five fortune cookies - ate only two of the actual slips
-a large package of hot chocolate mix that was hidden way in the back of my closet
-Gum - this is not quite a "binge" but she's eaten lots and lots of gum - L.A. street cleaning department should award her with a medal as honorary employee
-a package of instant oatmeal, a nutrigrain bar, and a fortune cookie (slip included)
-wax from a Mini Maybel cheese wedge
-half a candle
Things that she's had in her mouth, but did not actually eat, due to some swift maneuvering on my part:
-rotting fish head
-large dead squirrel (that was awful)
-Christmas tree ornament
-Thanksgiving turkey
I guess that's about all. Lots of other random stuff like used food napkins, pizza, bbq grill ash remains, and chicken bones found on the sidewalk (why??? who does this??? who eats chicken and then just throws the bones out of the car, presumably??) that totally send me in a state of panic but so far she's been okay. No stomach-pumping yet. Thank god.
-Entire package of beef jerky (14 oz) with the exception of the Do-Not-Eat silica gel thing
-Two packages of Butoni pasta, two packages of cheese, a package of roast beef, a bag of rolls
-A container of butter (actually she just licked it round and round but didn't eat the entire thing thank god), two individual sized applesauce containers, half a loaf of bread
-two boxes of raisins and five fortune cookies - ate only two of the actual slips
-a large package of hot chocolate mix that was hidden way in the back of my closet
-Gum - this is not quite a "binge" but she's eaten lots and lots of gum - L.A. street cleaning department should award her with a medal as honorary employee
-a package of instant oatmeal, a nutrigrain bar, and a fortune cookie (slip included)
-wax from a Mini Maybel cheese wedge
-half a candle
Things that she's had in her mouth, but did not actually eat, due to some swift maneuvering on my part:
-rotting fish head
-large dead squirrel (that was awful)
-Christmas tree ornament
-Thanksgiving turkey
I guess that's about all. Lots of other random stuff like used food napkins, pizza, bbq grill ash remains, and chicken bones found on the sidewalk (why??? who does this??? who eats chicken and then just throws the bones out of the car, presumably??) that totally send me in a state of panic but so far she's been okay. No stomach-pumping yet. Thank god.
posted by S at 5:42 PM
3 Comments:
Now I know how she got her nickname! Punk has eaten many a sidewalk chicken bone, as well as entire orders of carry-out pad thai and whole pizza slices - all found on the sidewalk or in a bush. Not that people never littered in MI, but there was never just a bounty of food all over the neighborhood like we've found in LA. Also on Punk's eaten list:
- 2 whole Chocolate Oranges (those things you get at Christmas that are just a big ball of chocolate)
- 2 socks (which she spend the day painfully vomiting up)
- 1 whole loaf of bread
- Gum and chapstick from my purse
- Another dog's puke
- A package of Poptarts
- Crayons (that was funny coming out)
- One of those Handi- snacks cheese and crackers packs, only discovered when there was a thick red plastic stick stuck in her ass that had to be manually removed.
I think the only thing grosser than having a dog is having kids.
Haha! That's disgusting. Growing up, my mom had a ton of dogs--I couldn't even begin to compile a list of the things they consumed. But here's a hint--when you guys have kids, and have dogs, DON'T fill Christmas stockings with candy on Christmas Eve and expect your dog to not hunt that down and eat it. One time, our dog Goldie consumed so many candy bars (and a bowl of chex mix, and a few loafs of bread, and more), that we spent quite a bit of time cleaning up doggie diarrhea. It was SOOOOOOOOOO nasty.
Yeah - dogs can definitely be gross. And they never learn. They'll eat something nasty, throw-up, not make the correlation and eat the same crap again.
Poor Punk. Socks must have hurt.
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