Why Self-Help Books are Bad
So while I was in Grayling over the holidays, I noticed the book DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF on one of the bookshelves. I actually have a copy of it (compliments of ElliotPreciousPants), and for reasons unknown, I picked it up and read it here and there, when I had some down time.
Anyway, I was feeling all enlightened and stress free this morning on my way to work. It really was a glorious morning - I think close to 80 degrees and sunny and I had just showered and was wearing a new shirt and in a very happy mood. I decided to follow one of the tips in DSTMS which was to smile and say hello to strangers. Now, I'm not crazy - I didn't do it with everyone. But I did say "good morning" to a neighbor of mine, waved to a shopkeeper I see all the time, and then waved to one of the street sweepers that I see about twice a week. I think he may be a bit slow mentally but he's really nice and friendly and always says hi and tries to pet Pig.
Big mistake.
The street cleaner guy smiles back at me and then opens his arms TO GIVE ME A HUG.
Good lord. There is nothing in DSTMS about hugging strangers. Especially strangers holding garbage cans and wearing picking-up-garbage gloves. This just sent my OCD alarms off like crazy.
So this is mean, but I just shouted (I had my earphones on) with a smile "I DON'T WANT TO HUG YOU - I'M SICK - I HAVE COLD - HAVE HAD IT FOR A FEW DAYS - DON'T WANT TO GET YOU SICK!!"
And he was like, "Oh okay. Alright. See you later."
And now I feel bad. Because he's a nice guy, and probably a bit slow, but I see him all the time and I just didn't want to hug him, not even once, because then I'd have to hug him every time.
I should probably add "Don't be a jerk" to my list of resolutions.
Anyway, I was feeling all enlightened and stress free this morning on my way to work. It really was a glorious morning - I think close to 80 degrees and sunny and I had just showered and was wearing a new shirt and in a very happy mood. I decided to follow one of the tips in DSTMS which was to smile and say hello to strangers. Now, I'm not crazy - I didn't do it with everyone. But I did say "good morning" to a neighbor of mine, waved to a shopkeeper I see all the time, and then waved to one of the street sweepers that I see about twice a week. I think he may be a bit slow mentally but he's really nice and friendly and always says hi and tries to pet Pig.
Big mistake.
The street cleaner guy smiles back at me and then opens his arms TO GIVE ME A HUG.
Good lord. There is nothing in DSTMS about hugging strangers. Especially strangers holding garbage cans and wearing picking-up-garbage gloves. This just sent my OCD alarms off like crazy.
So this is mean, but I just shouted (I had my earphones on) with a smile "I DON'T WANT TO HUG YOU - I'M SICK - I HAVE COLD - HAVE HAD IT FOR A FEW DAYS - DON'T WANT TO GET YOU SICK!!"
And he was like, "Oh okay. Alright. See you later."
And now I feel bad. Because he's a nice guy, and probably a bit slow, but I see him all the time and I just didn't want to hug him, not even once, because then I'd have to hug him every time.
I should probably add "Don't be a jerk" to my list of resolutions.
posted by S at 12:13 PM
6 Comments:
This is one of the funniest stories of all time. This would only happen to YOU! I love it. Quick thinking too - I probably would have given him a high-five, which is one of my patented "hug avoidance" moves, but that would have still been too much contact for garbage hands.
I can't help but think that the book, "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" was not intended for people with mild OCD, whose entire condition is sweating the small stuff. And then wiping that sweat off and applying three layers of deodorant.
hahahahahahahahaha!!! That is sooo funny-"Rudy"
Glad you guys found it funny! I was really more horrified than anything. And then I felt bad. But if I had to do it all again (and I may very well have to considering I see him about twice a week) I'd do the same thing. Not sure how long the "i have a cold" excuse will work tho!
Ha ha! That is great. Actually, Marco told me that one of my resolutions should be to (quote) "not sweat the small stuff". But I think that Thode is right. Maybe some people's mission in life is to sweat the small stuff, and perhaps it should be mine. And yours! Someone has to do it...
our laundry guy is this sweet old korean man that smells like a mixture of spinach and downy. how do i know what he smells like? because he is adorable, says hi whenever he sees me, and shakes my hand, hugs me, whatever. i half expect him to start trying to make out with me sometimes. but, i don't have ocd, so it's sort of ok- sans making out. setting boundries is ok. that's the big stuff. if the hug thing comes up more times than the cold excuse lasts, it's still ok to say, sorry, i don't really give hugs. no offense- really nice to see you! or something of the sort. funny and horrifying at the same time, for sure.
I'm over here in camp Rudy, laughing (with you, not at you, of course....)
If it makes you feel better, I would draw the line at hugging the garbage man with garbage hands too. So if you are a jerk (which I don't think you are), then you are part of a really big club....
Post a Comment
<< Home