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Wednesday, March 02, 2005

TV & Poker

TV & Poker - Argh. Banes of my existence and loves of my life. After meeting with Kate last night regarding our novel, I should have gone home and gone straight to bed. However, first I had to watch the episode of American Idol I taped. Then, my eye caught the championship game of Celebrity Poker and dammit, I just couldn't resist. Stayed up till 1 a.m., which normally is enough of a problem (I'm tired the next morning, groggy, don't make it to the gym), but was a super big problem this morning as I was supposed to get up early to give Pig a bath and clean the apartment. My dad is coming to visit and arrives Thursday night. My apartment and dog are filthy. I was also supposed to wash my carpet last weekend and forgot entirely - why? Because I was too busy playing poker and watching TV. And you might say - "Well, Sareet, you can clean tonight" but I CAN'T because I'm playing poker tonight.

I have problems.

4 Comments:

Blogger 3am wanderer said...

you need tivo so you can tape the shows and watch tv WHILE you play poker.

2:43 PM  
Blogger S said...

Dude... I SO want tivo. But I'm afraid if I get it, I'll never leave the house.

2:55 PM  
Blogger ElliottPreciousPants said...

So, I for one always feel much better about the amount of TV I watch after I read your blog.....does anyone else feel that way after reading this??:)

You should probably not get tivo. I think that is a very very bad idea. Unless you get two treadmills too--one for you, one for Pig--otherwise, it will someday after years and years of you having tivo, be you and Pig sitting in your living room each weighing five hundred pounds from doing nothing but watching tivo and eating popeye's chicken. There you will sit, resting your bucket of fried chicken on one of your fat rolls, while yelling at Pig to move her fat rolls off the remote control, programming your tivo to record american idol on one channel and new beginnings or something (that sounds like something boring you would watch:):)) while you tune into celebrity poker--Britney Spears vs. Debbie Gibson or something. Come on, doesn't that scare you?? Aren't you scared?? Pig will whimper under her own weight as her tiny pixie-like legs try and struggle with her enormous body, you won't be able to tell that she smells bad anymore because you haven't left the house in so long that you've become used to the stench....doesn't it sound terrible? You'll turn to the gameshow network and the Scrabble show from the 70's will come on and you won't be able to think of what the words are, because your brain will be so rotten from all your hours of tv that it'll look like swiss cheese. In fact, your brain might be so rotten that you might not be able to speak anymore, you will jusat drool. Think about it--it's not pretty--a 500 pound Sareet sitting on a dirty couch with her fat dirty dog, drooling for the dog to heave herself off the remote.

OK, I think that's enough. I make these attempts to scare you because I love you, you know.

Oh, and one more thing, I heard that rats are attracted to tivo.

(If my long story above didn't freak you out of thoughts of tivo, then that ought to do it!)

I still love you:) Call me.

10:10 AM  
Blogger S said...

Elliot - you are too funny! my favorite part is the bit about rats being attracted to tivo too!!

no, i know i can't get tivo. i would officially become useless.

4:17 PM  

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