"I Am Looking For Someone to........" List

I've finally decided I should do something besides playing WoW in all my spare time. Here's my little list of things I'd like to do. This is for reals. Max can only be talked into a few of these things, so if you would like to do any of these, or know someone who would, let me know.

I Am Looking For Someone Who Would Like to .... :

1.) Go ice skating with me. There is usually a rink downtown, and there are also classes available at the Culver Ice Arena http://www.culvericearena.com/ If you are a better skater than me, perhaps you can teach me how to stop as I have a hard time braking.

2.) Go rollerskating with me - or better yet, explore the possibility of a becoming a Roller Derby Girl. True, I don't like getting hurt or traveling at speeds greater than 5.6 mph (my maximium speed on a treadmill), but I think it sounds and looks cool. Plus I would like a super cool name like "Demolicious." Actually I would just like to talk a lot about being a Roller Derby Girl, so if that's good enough for you, we'd make a sweet fit. Or like I said, I would be up for just regular rollerskating. Again, you would need to teach me how to brake, but I'm sure that can't be too hard.

3.) Take a crafts class with me. This includes knitting, crocheting, jewelry making, glass blowing, soap carving, anything that I can spin into a daydream about how I'm going to make a living selling FILL IN THE BLANK at local fairs and ebay.

4.) Take a cooking class with me. This one is more for Max's sake, but I think it would be fun.

5.) Take a burlesque or pole-dancing class with me. You would think this one is for Max's sake, but it's really for comedic value and funny story-telling.

6.) Go hiking with me. But only if it's not a very hard trail, and only if there's definitely a dirt path because I don't like the feel of weeds and branches brushing up against me.

7.) Take a self-defense or boxing class with me. Because I fear rapists and orcs and warlocks.

8.) Go to the Pirate Adventure Dinner, Mystery Theater Dinner, or Medieval Times. Because I LOVE stuff like that.

Okay. That's all so far.

Strange Experiences

1.) Eating m&m's and jelly beans while doing research on how to lose your cellulite. And learning there's no real way.

2.) This conversation:

Me: So you know that mtg I set with Unnamed Client for 10:30 tomorrow morning? We have to move it.

Boss: Why?

Me: Well, I just made an emergency 9:15 a.m. doctor's appt, and it's the only time I can get in to see her this week so I'm afraid I can't make the 10:30.

Boss: (concerned) Are you alright?

Me: Yeah. I'm fine.

Boss: Okay, let's put the mtg at 11:30 then. You'll be back by then, right?

Me: No. I need it to be in the afternoon. Late in the afternoon. As late as possible.

Boss: Why? What are you seeing the doctor for?

Me: Well..(rushed) this-big-zit-on-my-nose-is-driving-me-insane-seriously-what-is-up- with-adult-acne-so-anyway-I-have-to-see-the-dermatologist-
right-away-and-she'll-probably-give-me-a-shot-of-cortisone-which-will-make-my-nose-swell-
to-Rudolph-size-and-I'm-really-vain-so-it-has-to-be-an-afternoon-meeting-because hopefully-the-swelling-will-go-down-by-then....

Boss: What zit?

Me: The zit on my nose.

Boss: (peering) I don't see anything.

Me: Well, it's definitely there.

Boss: (pulling off his bifocals to look) You're the only one who can see that.

Me: Not true. But anyway, can we move the meeting?

Boss: Fine. Does Max know you're this crazy?

Football Goddess

Each year in September or so, Max and I sit down and make our playoffs and Superbowl picks for the football season. First year, I won and I made Max clean out the refrigerator. Second year I won and I got dinner and a movie of my choice on him, which I was going to exchange for an outing to the Mystery Dinner Theater, or the Pirates Dinner Adventure. However, since we hadn't had a chance to go before this football season started, we decided to REALLY gamble and bet double or nothing. If I won this year, rather than going out to eat, I'd get a mini-trip planned and paid for by Max. If he won, he got out of the Mystery Dinner/Pirate Dinner Adventure.

And, after the first week of the playoffs, I've won already!!! I'm ahead by one point, and there's no way he can catch up, since both of his Superbowl picks are out already. Whoohoo!! Mini-Break!!!

We also made several bets on other football games this weekend. The loser (me) of the Kansas vs Indianopolis game had to take the down the Christmas tree ornaments. The loser (Max) of the Seattle vs Dallas game had to clean the bathroom. It turned out to be a great way to make football more interesting, and to get a clean apartment!

An Apology To

The guy at the intersection by my apartment who saw me throw up while walking Pig at 7:30 a.m. this morning. Certainly, no one should have to witness something like that. I know I must have been quite a revolting sight, and not how you'd like to start your Friday. I normally look pretty vile in the morning - bed hair, glasses, dried drool on the side of my face, chapped lips, unbrushed teeth...but today I amazed even myself. See, I've been sick for the last week. I haven't showered in about four days. No, my hair normally does not look like I rubbed a can of Crisco into it. And yes, those were baby blue pajama bottoms I was wearing.

Rest assured though that the poop bag I was retching into had not yet been used to pick up poop!

First Post of 2007

Happy New Year!!

So I'm sort of at a loss for what to type about. It's been so long that way too many things come to mind. Had a terrific Xmas up in San Francisco with the Chinese Costanzas and my aunts. Watched countless hours of L&O, CSI, Forensic Files, Body of Evidence, Psychic Detectives, Cold Cases, etc. and played countless hours of World of Warcraft. Nowadays, half of my nightmares are about rapists and murderers, the other half are about orcs and trolls. Gained about 5 lbs, which I keep insisting is "water" weight...but don't you lose "water" weight after a few days of sodium free eating? Mine appears to be stubborn and won't go away. Damn "water."

Oh incidentally, I did make it to the gym for the first time in months. Went a couple of days ago. To my dismay and horror, I noticed in the mirror that MY EYE BAGS BOUNCE when I run on the treadmill. Ack! Surely must be b/c of the water weight, and not because I just generally look haggard and rundown.

And, the only thing worse than Michigan getting its ass kicked by USC is having to go grocery shopping afterwards, in your Michigan sweatshirt, and getting jeered at by USC fans at the grocery store. Seriously - it happened TWICE. In about 20 minutes.

But, moving on, I am going to indulge in my useless habit of making and posting my resolutions!! That's right - those things that I never keep. Well, last year, I decided to make a few general ones since I can't seem to keep a long list of specific ones, but that didn't seem to work either. So this year, I've decided to commit to TWO. Just two little bitty ones, that aren't major, but would improve my life and Pig's. So here they are:

1.) Floss everyday. Sadly, this has been one of my yearly resolutions since I was about 12 and Dr. Hanson predicted that my teeth would fall out by the age of 50 if I didn't floss everyday. Of course, that never seemed to make me floss, but now that I'm 28, I figure it's about time to start.

2.) Walk Pig for 1/2 hr every day. This way, she gets exercise, and I get exercise. Ever since I started at my new job, I've been skipping walks a couple of times a week, and that's just not good for either of us.

So that's it. Just too little bitty ones. Not majorly significant but achievable. The other things like saving more money, exercising regularly, taking a multivitamin a day, drinking 8 glasses of water a day, giving up caffeine and alcohol, working harder at the office, donating money, volunteering, training for a marathon, etc...all those will lurk in my head. Will try to work on them, but won't actually call them resolutions, so it's not quite so embarassing when I can't keep any of them!