Friday, March 30, 2007



Woke up this morning in a not-so-great mood, for no particular reason. I think I was just tired and groggy and nothing could get me moving. I even tried deeply inhaling my Trader Joe's Aromatherapy Revive Shower Gel to "awaken the senses" but I ended up accidentally snorting some of that stuff up my nose, which was very unpleasant and made even grumpier.


Anway, right. Am at work. It's Friday. Gonna be the weekend soon.

Speaking of which, I don't really have any weekend plans. Saturday night I'm meeting up with Jessie, Kate and Andrea for dinner. I hope this marks the return of our Monthly Dinners. Those were fun. Afterwards we're heading over to an old friend's bday party at a local bar. I haven't really kept in touch with the birthday boy, and we were never close friends to start out with so I hope he doesn't mind me crashing. Apart from that, no plans. I checked in the LA Weekly to see if there'd be some festival or event or something fun, but the only thing going on is a Guacamole Festival. Think I'll skip that.

Thursday, March 29, 2007


$2!!! Woot!

I got one number right and the mega number right.

It's a sign I should continue to play the lotto!

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Ooh...it's Hump Day Again!

Alright. I can't believe I'm admitting this but I actually *kinda* liked Sanjaya's faux-pony hawk. It'd be better if his hair were a bit shorter, but it's "doing it's thing" so to speak. I vaguely wanted a faux-hawk a few years ago, but decided I was way too old and too much a suburban-girl for it. Women in their 20's who read old lady mysteries and shop at the Gap just can't pull off that look. Maybe will just have to adopt a kid some day and and give him a mini-hawk, a la Angelina Jolie. Apart from Sanjaya's hair, it was another boring episode of AI. I liked seeing Gwen Stefani but I didn't see the point in having her there since so few contestants bothered to sing a No Doubt song. I'm hoping fat-Chris gets kicked off this week. I thought he sounded terrible.

Am absent-minded today and missed my exit off the freeway on the way to work. Actually drove a whole five exits down before noticing. Now, I was actually NOT preoccupied by thoughts of Prince but rather thoughts about how it must be nice to make a living from doing something that you really like to do, or that you are talented at. So in a way, it was vaguely Prince inspired, but I do feel that way about lots of people, particularly artists and athletes. So few of us actually get to make any money doing things we're actually good at AND like to do. I mean what percentage of people are really blessed in that way? 5%?

I like to gamble, dance, play poker, shop, read, nap, watch tv, play with my dog, surf on the internet, obsess about whatever I like at the moment (Prince/World of Warcraft/mysteries/etc.) and tidy around the apartment. I am wonderfully talented at doing all of these things, except for playing poker - I am a decent casual player but could never be a professional because math is hard and I don't like trying to figure out the odds. Which means, at best, I could make a living as a cleaning lady at a nightclub in a casino. Who reads, naps, shops, watches tv, surfs on the internet and plays with her dog during her 15 minute breaks from the job. That does not sound so good.

Ideally I'll just win the lotto. Yep, have started buying tickets again. As my brother pointed out - if you don't play, you don't win! If I win this week, I'm going to buy that book "1000 Places to See Before You Die" and go to Every. Single. One of those places. Except for the places that are really dirty or have no running water, or require a traveler to get a whole bunch of shots before going.

Monday, March 26, 2007

Weekend Recap

Today is a Monday and is rainy. Grrrr. Someone find me a water-proof hole I can crawl in and camp out until it's Saturday and sunny again.

This weekend was the type of weekend where I did seven loads of laundry (gross, right? I was practically down to wearing a swimsuit bottom as underwear) and dozed off repeatedly on the couch while watching Court TV and basketball. Speaking of which, I am now officially out of the tournament. F*$#&ing KANSAS! That one game on Saturday was sooo annoying - that whole team needs to work on their ball handling skills. And shooting skills. And passing skills. Luckily Max is still in it, so I'll just root for his picks now.

A few people came over Saturday night to hang out for a bit, and then we all headed over to Trader Vic's for Noodles birthday party. I surprised myself, and everyone else, by not ordering the awesome looking fruity drinks that come out of a coconut with a fake parrot sticking out of it. I guess I just wasn't really feeling like having a 600 calorie drink that night. That's the problem with being Someone Who Exercises - it sucks the fun out of you. I just kept thinking I'd have to run for two hours just to burn off one drink so I just stuck to vodka sodas, my newest low calorie drink of choice. I guess vanity and gluttony aren't sins that really go hand-in-hand.

Oh by the way, did I mention most of my friends are LAME?? I did end up trying to round up people to go to the Tribute to Prince party, but only Lypstyk Girl and Kate were up for it. And Kate had a potential scheduling conflict and probably really couldn't make it so we just didn't end up going. LAME. How often does a girl have an excuse to curl her hair like crazy, parade around in lingerie and dance to awesome music???

Friday, March 23, 2007


It's so sad that I just live for the weekend. Actually that most people live for the weekend. Life should be reversed - like you should live for the weekdays. Because there are five of them... I am a brilliant philosopher.

Today has actually been a great day for me so far. It's beautiful outside - sunny and warm. I put on a previously muffin-top-revealing shirt and lo and behold - no visible muffin top! Well, at least not when I'm standing. Sitting is a whole other issue but I figure that's just inevitable. Discovered that Chaka Khan song "Sweet Thing" last night, put it on repeat on my drive to work, and have it now stuck in my head, which is actually a really pleasant thing. Got to work at a reasonable time - a huge achievement. Had some unexpected good news at work, so that's always nice. And it's Friday!

I don't have any plans for tonight. Will probably hit the gym after work and run for a bit. I went last night as well - was supposed to go to a kickboxing class, but there was a lot of traffic and I couldn't make it there in time. Instead I ran on the treadmill, and did an interval workout, sort of modified from something I had read in a fitness magazine. It was pretty tough, espeically since I incorporated one of Benjamin's rules when it comes to running intervals: "Sprint until you think you're going to throw-up!" Luckily I didn't actually throw-up, although the guy on the treadmill next to me did look awfully nervous as I huffed and puffed my way through the workout.

Tomorrow night I'm going to Trader Vic's to celebrate Noodle's (Natalie) birthday. I really like that place. It's all old-school tiki ti-ish. And I love drinks that come with fresh flowers on top.

Sunday there is supposed to be a Tribute to Prince party at a club called Spaceland in Silverlake. I guess they'll be playing Prince songs all night long so it should make for lots of fun dancing. Also it's a costume party and you have to dress up from the Purple Rain era. Sadly I am too embarassed of my new found Prince love to email my friends to round up people to go with me. Seriously, I've been sending weekly Prince-related emails for the last month or so and I just can't bring myself to do it anymore. I think I will just mention it off-handedly at Noodle's party and hope someone bites. Wish Benjamin and Thode were here as they surely would be game for something like that!

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Almost Friday

Was a bit bummed about Stephanie getting kicked off AI last night, but not surprised at all. It's just too bad - I did always like the songs she chose. I thought it was surprising that "non-fat Chris" (it's like he's a yogurt or a latte) was in the bottom 2. I figured he had a bigger following than that. Ugh, why even bother talking about AI - so boring this year...zzzz.

Ooh a show I really do like is Friday Night Lights. It's so good. It's technically "on the bubble" so it may or may not come back for a second season. I seriously hope it will - it's my most favorite new show in a long time.

What else? Nothing new. Now I remember why I stopped blogging...

Oh, there is a patch of skin on my back - sort of near my right shoulder - that has gone numb. Now that's a bit bizarre. I just noticed it recently - I can feel pressure on it, but no sense of surface skin sensation. I hope it's not leprosy.

Oh christ, so should NOT have looked up "leprosy" photos on google images just now. Now normally I would know better but while typing I just happened to remember that when I was really really young - probably 6 or 7, I remember being on vacation somewhere, and walking around a boat (like a naval ship tour thing) and there was this old guy who had marble sized warts/lumps all over his body - his face, ears, arms, hands - I was sooo horrified. I remember genuinely being scared and even at the young age, I was a bit germ-phobic and I remember not wanting to use the handrail after seeing him put his hands on it and I remember trying to hold my breath and not breathe too hard near him (which was difficult b/c he was standing in front of me in line). And he was nice, and he could tell I was scared, and I remember him smiling at me, and I just froze - I just couldn't deal with it. So just now I started thinking maybe he had leprosy...so I google imaged it...maybe he did have leprosy. Wow, trippy. Have not thought about that incident in decades and here it comes, rushing back.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007



Pig just took a f#%$ing SHIT in the office.

Have to get out of here. NOW.

Hump Day

Okay, the internet is undoubtedly a-buzz with people talking about...THAT LITTLE GIRL ON AMERICAN IDOL last night!! Good lord - poor thing. If you saw the show, you totally know who I'm talking about. If not, well basically there was this maybe 11 year old girl who was such a huge (inadequate word - probably BIGGEST) fan of American Idol and apparently Sanjaya in particular that she sobbed through the entire show. The camera kept cutting to her bawling and at the end Ryan invited her up on stage to meet everyone. It was almost traumatic watching her. I just really hope the euphoria from meeting her idols will carry her through an undoubtedlly wretched day in school. I can't even imagine.

Actually at one point I turned to Max and said, "You know, that's what I was like at the last Prince concert." Haha. Not really. JUST IN MY HEAD. Well, not really. It did make me wonder if Prince would bring me upstage if I just sobbed through his entire show. Something tells me he wouldn't.

Anyway, I guess I'm hoping Phil Stacey gets voted off. Nothing against him in particular, I just don't think he's all that interesting. Usually I spend the entire time he's on tv wondering if he would actually be kinda hot...with hair. Thoughts? Also, was a bit disappointed in Stephanie - I LOVE the song she chose but she sang it all weird and slow and pitchy. Hope she stays in tho, at least for another week.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Prince in SF

So Prince will be playing at the Orpheum in San Francisco in May but I've summoned all my willpower and resisted getting a ticket...mainly b/c my Prince related expenses are mounting and I'm pretty sure I can't write them off on my tax return. Best seats are $225, mezzanine at $170, and upper balcony at $90...and when you've been close enough to him that he can spit on you (like I said, hopefully that was him), you're just not really going to want anything less than the $225 seats...which is a lot of money. Oh well. Have resigned to save up money for when he comes to LA, and splurge on seats then.

American Idol tonight. I find this season to be so dull. I mean we already know it's going to be down to Melinda and Lakisha so really, what's the point of watching? No one to really root for in my opinion - I like them both equally. And pretty much dislike the rest of them - Jordan is too gooey, Gina is too Vicky-Lawrence looking and reminds me of someone I don't really like (unfair to Gina but hey what can I do), Haley sounds like she should be working in Disneyland and the boys are just awful. You just will NOT be able to convince me that non-fat Chris is hot. Sorry. And can we please put Sanjaya out of his misery already? Poor guy. The only other person I like is Stephanie, mainly because I love the songs she sings. We must have similar taste in music. Pretty much after her performance each week, I log on to itunes and download the original version of whatever she sang.

Have been preoccupied with my cellulite lately. Yeah, let's blog about that and share it with everyone!! All three of you reading!! Anyway, cannot believe have developed cellulite all over my stomach. Started getting it on the back of my thighs as well but since following my intense personally developed (after culling from pages and pages of info on the internets) Cellulite-Be-Gone-Regimen, I've seen some improvement on my legs. No improvement however on the stomach so I guess my bikini wearing days are over. Goddammit, getting old SUCKS. Whyeeee????? Whyeee must there be cellulite????? Arrrrrrgh. Now am grumpy.

Off to find some chocolate, which is clearly the solution.

Monday, March 19, 2007

Weekend Recap

Can't believe it's Monday again. Boo.

Weekend was fun. Didn't do much Friday night. Max grilled up some steaks and we just sat around watching tv. I think we watched a lot of college basketball, but I can't really remember it very well because lately all the sports watching seems to blur together.

I actually made it to the gym Saturday morning. Pretty proud of myself for that. It marked the official end of the "I'm recovering from Vegas so I'll damn well binge on whatever I want" week (see below). I took a kickboxing class - I actually really enjoy kickboxing. I think it's one of those classes that provides extra stress relief - there's nothing quite as anxiety-reducing as kicking and punching imaginary enemies. After class, I swung by our local library to pick up some Prince cds I had requested. No point in buying them when you can get them for free there. I briefly debated whether or not I was too gross to go in, and then recalled all of Kate's horror stories about the local library patrons she saw while working there, and decided that despite being unshowered, sweaty and make-up less, I was still probably okay. As soon as I walked in and saw three homeless guys sleeping in the lobby area, I realized I was fine.

At around 5 p.m., we headed over to Jessie's for her St. Patrick's Day party. Super fun, and the food was amazing. I drank green vodka sodas that luckily did not stain my teeth. I tried to do one Irish car bomb (where you drop a shotglass of bailey's and bushmills into a pint of guiness and chug it all down) but honestly, I messed it up. I don't know how - it defies logic and gravity frankly - but I had drank half of the beer and none of the bailey's and bushmills poured out. Maybe I am magic.

Headed back to the gym on Sunday morning for an 11 a.m. weight lifting class. I really hate that class. I went, because I needed to go, but I particularly dislike this instructor. Or rather his utter inability to count properly and to the beat of the music. He must be awful in bed. 20...19...18...15..16..12.11.10987....6...4 You get the point. The class always falls apart halfway through each set - some stick to the beat of the music, others stick to his counting. It's a disaster. But it's a good workout so I just sucked it up and made it through the class.

So that was about it. The rest of Sunday was spent on the usual weekend errands - a trip to the grocery store, tidying around the apt, etc.

Now, for NannyKate (sorry I know you go by kate g but I will always think of you as NannyKate) I give you a Pig Report:

Pig is doing well. About a month ago something happened to her tail - it went all limp. The condition is actually sometimes called "Limber Tail" or "Dead Tail" - she just couldn't wag it all. She really did look like Eyore. I think she might have sprained it sitting in the back of my little Honda Civic to and from work every day (45 mins each way). Luckily it went away after a couple weeks and now she can do the "helicopter" (where the tail goes all the way around the base like a windmill) again.

Thode sent me an email saying Cesar Milan is looking for dogs who fear thunder or fireworks so we're going to make and send in an audition tape of Pig! Maybe she'll end up on the Dog Whisperer! The tape has to be about 5-7 minutes long, and needs to show the dog displaying the behavior problem at least 3 times. Now since it doesn't really thunder all that much out here, Max and I are just going download thunderstorm sounds and play them really loudly in the apartment. I have no doubt that will work. She totally freaked out when I watched the new version of Pride & Prejudice and there's that thunderstorm scene where Darcy professes (badly) his love for Elizabeth and she just blows him off and...god I love that movie, should rent it again soon... And Max says that every time he watches Unforgiven (because of course Max's watches this movie about once a month), she freaks out at the end when there's a big thunderstorm. So, poor Pig - she's going to be miserable...but maybe she'll make it on tv!

I'm a bad dog mommy.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Vegas with Theo - Hit n Run Style

So our Hit n Run Vegas trip began early Saturday morning. Really early. Theo got in the night before at around 10 p.m. and we were up by 5 a.m. the following morning. We actually hit the road at around 6:45, with a full tank of gas, cash burning in our pockets, and the requisite road trip McDonald's breakfast in hand. The drive was super fast (no need to get into why we got there so quickly) and we were ready to hit our first casino before 11 a.m. We decided to do a "casino crawl" from one end of the strip to the other and started our journey at MGM Grand. We also decided to keep a picture record of what we looked like exiting the casinos.


This is what I look like after losing $40 in my first 20 minutes in Vegas (MGM Grand)

This is what my brother looks like after walking around MGM Grand looking for an available $5 craps table and failing to find one.

This is what I look like when I'm about to eat my second McDonald's meal of the day

This is what my brother looks like when he's watching me eat my second McDonald's meal of the day

Yep, still eating. Still enjoying.

This is what I look like when I'm down about $80 coming out of Aladdin and have decided to start drinking vodka sodas to lessen the pain (incidentally if you've met my mom, you know that she looks EXACTLY like this, even when she's hasn't been throwing back drinks at a casino - scary)

This is what my brother looks like after he's won money playing roulette at Aladdin.

This is what my brother looks like when he's eating a savory crepe at Paris (the casino, not the city although they'd have you believe otherwise...)

This is what I look like when I'm eating a nutella crepe at Paris

This is what I look like when I've lost $100 playing Let it Ride at Bally's.

This is what my brother looks like when he's lost $100 in 15 minutes learning how to play 3 card poker - also known as what he looks like when he's just paid $100 for a pina colada.

This is what I look like after I win at gambling - I've just won $2 on a giant slot machine!

This is what my brother looks like after he's discovered a video poker machine that plays 50 hands at once...all for 2 cents each!

After Bally's we did a quick tour of Flamingo looking for a $5 blackjack table but didn't find one so we left and hit up Imperial Palace. No $5 tables at IP - which was utter bullshit. Seriously, IP should have $5 tables. We settled for a $10 table and it took us two hands to realize that we were at a single deck table so we got immediately. There was no sign stating that it was a single deck table (which we both refuse to play - it feels a lot harder to win at them than a multi-deck game) so we were pissed and decided not to take a picture and pretended the whole incident didn't happen.

Next we did a quick tour of Harrah's and watched some people play a bizarre game that was part war, part 3 card poker, part 5 card poker and part...nonsense. So we trekked on to The Mirage. By this time it was already 6 p.m. or so the tables were getting expensive. I lost another $60 playing 3 card poker so I decided to call it quits for a bit. Theo found a very chatty and slow dealing black jack dealer (the best, since you can play very slowly and won't lose as quickly) so I watched him for a little while. Then I played a bit of video poker and 2 cent slots before deciding to head back to the hotel to take a nap and freshen up. Theo was on a roll so he decided to stay a bit later.

Since I had indulged in countless unhealthy foods that day, I figured I should exercise a bit and walked all the way back down the strip to the Tropicana, where we were staying. It took a good half an hour and some fancy footwork (had to avoid all the people trying to hand me nudey cards!). I checked us into the hotel and to my surprise and initial delight, they had hooked us up with a suite on the highest floor. Now the Tropicana is a pretty old hotel, so this wasn't a super fancy suite, but it did have two bathrooms, a jacuzzi tub, a sauna, and two fancy mirrored dressing tables. Nice!

Now the rest of the night was pretty much all Prince related. Shortly after my brother met up with me (he actually didn't stay very much longer at The Mirage, and by the time I got us checked in etc, he showed up about 10 mins later) he suggested I call the Rio box office to see how we would go about getting into Prince's aftershow. During my last Vegas trip, we discovered that Prince often plays an aftershow at the restaurant in Rio. Theo and I had originally talked about going to the concert, but then discovered the tickets had been jacked up to $250 plus ticket master fees, so we had planned on skipping the concert, but possibly going to the aftershow, which would run around $50 per person. Well when I called the Rio Box Office, I learned that tickets to regular concert were still available...for only $178. Now listen, I know that's a lot of money, but this was the type of thing where I knew if I didn't go, I'd totally regret it. Prince is done playing at Vegas after this month so who knows when I'd see him again in such a small venue. And considering that I might easily lose that same amount gambling for the rest of the night it seemed (and was) the right choice. So after a quick powwow with Theo, I decided to go, and he decided to skip the concert, since he's not a huge Prince fan but is a huge gambling fan. It worked out great because we each got to do what we wanted to, and neither really minded splitting up.

Anyway, I had to get ready very quickly for the concert. The guy at the box office said that they were only selling the tickets there, and not over the phone, so I had to make sure I got one before they sold out. Was a bit bummed because I only had about 20 minutes to pull myself together after a long day of traveling, gambling and fast food eating, and I would have liked to look my purtiest just in case I got to make eye contact with Prince because of course naturally he'd fall instantly in love with me if he did.

This is what an unshowered Prince groupie looks like when she's only had 20 minutes to pull herself together. Maybe it's for the best that I didn't get to make eye contact with him!

It was at first a bit strange to be at a concert by myself, but I soon discovered the advantage to that was that I could worm my way all the way to the front of the stage without anyone really noticing. Since this was my second time at the concert, I knew the drill. The club 3121 is very small, and the tickets are standing room only. Although the club opens at 10 or so, Prince doesn't play until much later, but once he starts it's hard to move around, so best set your feet down in a good spot as soon as possible. The dance floor is right up next to the stage so what I did was I stood as close to the stage as possible, and then scooted up when I could as people milled about. I chatted with the people beside me so it really didn't come off as rude as I'm making it sound at the moment. So, employing this strategy I was able to get all the way up until there was only one woman in front of me. I was so close it was awesome!! I was close enough to put my hand on the stage, and I tried to get this woman to move over a bit so I could get right up next to the stage but she wouldn't have none of it. I even tried to annoy her by standing really close to her so she'd be forced to move over due to me invading her personal body space, but she was hip to what I was doing and just wouldn't cave, so I settled for my "second" row spot. Man I could see everything - down to how Prince's diamond ring matches his diamond cuffs. Very exciting. Now since I'm a new fan, I don't really know all his songs, but I did some internet research and here is what he sang:

dmsr - long jam with part of controversy horns. he fell over on a riser - I thought he was just dancing sexy but I guess I was wrong!
somewhere here on earth (new slow number)
black sweat
pass the peas
what a wonderful world (instrumental)

raspberry beret
sometimes it snows in april (my new favorite song - the one that made me cry in the car the other day)
the rules (i think this was more just him playing a blues song and singing "the rules", which I found on the internet - seems like it's stuff off a funny forwarded email type thing - rules for women by men like "christopher columbus didn't need directions and neither do we" and "learn to use the toilet seat, if it's up put it down" or if "if you have to talk, do it during the commericals")

purple rain

It was all really great! I can't believe how close I was - literally an arm's length away. I could have touched him. I was so close at one point I think his spit landed on my forehead. Or that's what I told myself, because I couldn't bear to think it was spit from the guy standing next to me.
So as soon as he was done with Purple Rain and the curtain started to come down and I realized there wouldn't be an encore, I rushed over to the restaurant to get in line for the aftershow. I was one of the last people to get into the MAIN room. Last time, we were in the outer room where we could hear him but not see him. This time, I got into the main room, which is about the size of my living room. I was so excited - I got a great spot too - in the center in one of the booths. UNFORTUNATELY, Prince came in, played one awesome song ("Sugar Mama"? I think that's what it's called), got everyone dancing hard (I was dancing up on the booth along with the other girls in my booth - okay, confession: I WAS dancing on one of the booths until I spotted this little area between the booths that was even more elevated so I climbed up there and was dancing for a bit until some woman gave me a dirty look and motioned for me to come back down - was feeling a bit sheepish about getting reprimanded by undoubtedly a Prince related person - but at the same time somewhat thrilled because I could see everything for the few minutes I was up there and I'm sure Prince could see meeeeeee!) and then HE LEFT! Booo. What a rip off. I mean, his band continued to play, and his band was awesome - they played a lot of jazz numbers and ended with a jazz rendition of the song on the Geico Caveman at the Airport commerical - it goes like "and everywhere I go, there's always something to remind me...of another place and time." But still...they're not Prince.

Anyway by the time I got back to the Rio it was 5 a.m. (remember there was the daylight savings, so technically it was only 4 a.m.). My brother had just gotten in about 10 minutes before me! He had spent the evening playing at Bellagio - where apparently there are now $10 tables in the evening. Now, I would much rather play at a $10 table at Bellagio than a $10 table at Imperial Palace ANY day. IP...grrrr. Irritated still.

So, we crashed for about two and half hours (turns out the Tropicana lied and the sofa was not a sofa bed but just a sofa so my poor brother had a poor and short night of sleep while he let me have the king bed) and then we were up and on our way back to LA. Technically we were headed to Long Beach, since that was where he was flying out of. Since we had a plane to catch, we planned for a lot of travel time, in case there would be the usual Vegas-to-LA-Sunday-traffic. Luckily we missed all of it and even had time to stop at Denny's for breakfast, and to mill about Long Beach for an extra hour before he had to leave. No pics from Sunday morning, as I was looking shiteous from the lack of sleep and showering.

So that was our super fun 24 hour Vegas trip!


So after getting all teary-eyed watching the commerical below last night, Max was like, "Okay, where can we buy some pms pills to make this stop???" Heh. Wish I knew. I think this commercial is a sign (I don't know why but I've suddenly gotten really superstitious) that Roy Williams will win the NCAA championship. Which, coincidentally, is who I picked to win in my bracket! How convenient. Bracket money is big this year - over $400 - which would really help offset some of my recently incurred Prince-related expenses...

Am feeling a bit better today, mainly because it's Friday and I just have to get through the end of the day, right? I'm looking forward to tomorrow - Jessie is hosting a St. Patrick's Day Party and has promised an array of foods including "corned beef...famous corned corn for the vegetarians...and (her) patented irish potato famine salad (now with fewer potatoes!)" She cracks me up.

I have been following a new workout schedule for the last two months which goes like this:

1.) First 3 weeks - work out really well (like at least 4-5 times a week), eat super healthily, sleep a lot, walk the dog regularly, take multi-vitamins, drink 8 glasses of water, etc.

2.) Go to Vegas for a weekend and undo all the good work you did the three previous weeks by consuming alcohol non-stop and going to buffets and/or and eating as much fast food as humanly possibly.

3.) Continue the downward slide for another week. Tell yourself it's a "recovery from Vegas" week which justifies not going to the gym at all, and indulging in treats such as baklava, gummy bears, ice cream (that new Ben & Jerry's Steven Colbert flavor is particularly excellent), tons of chocolate, french fries, bowlfuls of jelly beans, etc.

4.) Repeat steps 1-3.

I have now gone through this cycle TWICE. Whoo!

Thursday, March 15, 2007

March Emotional Madness

So, as a general rule, the first day of March Madness can't possibly be a "Fleece PMS Day." Remember those? Those days when all I wanted to do is put on a fleece and cry in my office? But yet it is. Sadly, I can't wear fleece today because it's about 80 degrees. But there's nothing to stop me from crying in my office!! Woot!! Done THAT already!! Man, that bitch client is sooo on the shit list.

First day of March Madness is SUPPOSED to be awesome. You're supposed to listen to sports radio on the way to work, and NOT listen to "Sometimes it Snows in April" by Prince which will make you cry cry cry and ruin the eye make-up that took an extra 20 minutes to apply because you woke up looking puffy and bloated and is it really so much to ask of God to just look somewhat presentable to the world???? You're supposed to anxiously check the internet for basketball scores, and NOT throw a tantrum because your computer monitor hates you with a passion and just WILL NOT TURN ON. You're supposed to contemplate what bars you're going to hit with your friends after work to watch the games, and NOT contemplate whether anyone would really notice if you locked yourself in the office bathroom with a bottle of vodka at 11:00 a.m. Er, just kidding. Right.

I swear, if I catch even ONE stupid sad news article on the internet about dead puppies or orphan babies born with no eyes or families reunited after years of separation - I will go home. But for now, I will just quietly weep over my colleague's calendar which has a big picture of a googly-eyed cat saying "Why Does Every Day Have to be One of Those Days?" So sad. Poor cat.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

I'm Back!


Anyone there?

My poor forgotten blog. It's been FOREVER since I've posted. Okay, technically since January 9th, but that seems so long ago. Max's grandmas mentioned in their emails to him that they miss my blog (they're so sweet!) so this is for them!! I've been up to all sorts of nonsense since January 9th, some of which I will share briefly, just to get this thing updated. This will be a gigantic post. Maybe will skip the Pig Poop Report though.

First off, I've actually accomplished some of the things on my "I am looking for someone to...." list. For starters, a bunch of us went ice skating one Saturday evening downtown LA. There is a very very very small outdoor rink that is open from November to January or so. Despite the fact that I've actually taken ice skating lessons before when I was little, I found myself to be a total klutz at it, which really was no surprise to anyone. You know what's not so much fun? Desperately clinging to the rail while hordes of awful small children threaten to crash into you and decapitate you with their skates. So, ice-skating is off the list and probably will not reappear again, until at least several years later when I forget how not-fun ice skating is and decide that it sounds awesome.

I also took a pole-dancing class - WHICH WAS HILARIOUS!! I rounded up a bunch of girls and we set up a private dance lesson with a company called Cat Moves Pole Dancing. Turns out...I have very little natural ability to pole-dance. HAH!! I couldn't even twirl all the way around the pole - I think that takes a fair amount of arm muscle...and coordination...and grace. Not words that are ever associated with me. What tended to happen is that I'd sort of make a leap in the air, get about a bit ways around (like if it were a clock, i'd get from the 12 to the 5 maybe) and then come crashing straight back down, feet landing with a loud thud. The only thing that I did well was a move/pose called the Peek-A-Boo, which my friend Caroline convinced me looked awesome and sexy. It doesn't. I know this because when I showed Max a pic of me doing it (yes Caroline convinced me to get a pic of it) he laughed. Not the reaction a girl's looking for. Actually I laughed too because it looks SO ridiculous. You have to have one leg wrapped around the pole, and then you lean over and "peek" between your legs - as Thode pointed out, it looks like you're trying to fart!! Maybe...just maybe... I will post it here for laughs.

Before I forget, I should mention that for the THIRD YEAR IN A ROW, I won the Super Bowl bet against Max. This year, we went double or nothing so now he owes me a mini-trip. Whoo hoo! I am a football goddess.

The weekend after the Superbowl was the Girls' Night out to Vegas weekend. Oh my god that was an awesome trip. I'm not going to recap it in detail, or share any pics ;) What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, right? I will share that I hit a straight-flush playing 3 card poker, which pays 40 to 1! And there was a visit to what Jessie referred to as the "Wang Club" (male strip club - the guys were wearing g-strings thank god - I was terrified that crabs and stds would fling off and into my eyes - seriously that can happen) and that we went to my first Prince concert! (notice I said "first" as in there's been more since) And it was awesome. Somewhere in the middle of the concert I became obsessed with Prince. Seriously. You guys know how I am - I really get into stuff and then become consumed by it - I Love Lucy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (that might have been pre-blog), poker, World of Warcraft, etc - and right now I am on a major Prince kick. It will pass eventually, like all things. The irony is that I was such a casual Prince fan before the concert - I mean I knew some of his major hits but that was about it. And I hadn't really seen any of his music videos or knew much about him at all. BUT NOW I KNOW EVERYTHING mwuhahahaha. Actually it's been fun learning about Prince and slowly working my way through his discography or whatever. There's a lot to get thru, and a lot of crappy songs and movies actually, but there are really good ones too. Anyway, the concert was amazing - it was in a very small venue and at one point Thode even touched him. And then had her hand slapped away by his bodyguard. There was even an aftershow after the concert, which was free. We couldn't see him since it was in a small restaurant, but we could hear him and it was great. :)

After the Vegas trip, things settled down. Thode was in town for a week so we had Sloppy Joe night (she makes the best Sloppy Joes) and the requisite Boardwalk karaoke night. That turned out to be a super fun night actually - and I even sang! I did two songs, "I'll Make Love to You" by Boyz II Men (this was a group sing), and "Brass in Pocket" by The Pretenders. Fun all around. Woke up with a terrible neck pain the next morning because Thode and I had been trying to dance at Boardwalk like The Twinz who are Prince's crazy-ass-frenetic twin back-up dancers. They have this move where they whip their long hair around like a windmill...a move one should not try at home. Or at a karaoke bar.

February ended nicely with Valentine's Day and our 6th year anniversary. Max and I went to a Hawaiian restaurant called Roy's as sort of as a preview to our trip to Hawaii in September. Max had actually worked with Chef Roy Yamaguchi on one of his shows, so it was fun to try his food. Which was delicious. Maybe a bit overpriced, imo, but still good.

First weekend in March was a fun one. Max was shooting a short film in our apartment so I headed out to... the ponies! Erin had organized an outing to the Santa Anita Race Track. Honestly, I loved it. Not that I know anything about the ponies - I just choose names that I think will be gross and or funny to shout out. Prime example: "Scat Thief." The whole experience was fun - it was a very nice day so it was great to be outdoors. We just sat around drinking Bloody Mary's (okay that was just me) and enjoying the experience. When I got back home, Max's shoot had wrapped and a few people were just lingering around so the evening turned into an old school party - just a bunch of us folks goofing around listening to music.

My brother "Theo" came in town last weekend...and we went to Vegas! Oh yes we did. A bit spur of the moment - we had discussed it on and off during the week, but finally committed to it on Thursday night or so. It was SO much fun. THAT trip I will recap in detail, once he sends me the pics, which are safe for work :) Oh..and I went to the Prince concert again! I totally did, I know, I can't believe that I did that! It was of cours awesome, more on that later when the pics come (none of Prince tho, b/c he doesn't allow cameras). I'm such a groupie now! Yesterday the fortune in my fortune cookie was: "A Short Stranger Will Soon Enter Your Life." I took it as a sign that I should quit my job and go from city to city with Prince as soon as he goes on tour, which he is rumored to do this summer. Hey, life's short...and so is Prince.