Thursday, September 30, 2004

Presidential Debates

I'm leaving work early to catch the first Presidential Debate tonight. I really hope Kerry can keep it together and not ramble. One time, Max, AD and I were sitting around watching one of his speeches and all three of us had a hard time understanding him. And we're fairly smart people. Fairly. I feel the need to draw a flow chart to figure out what the hell Kerry is trying to say. Still he's better than Bush. I'm going to throw-up if Bush gets re-elected. I know that's juvenile, and hardly much of a protest but I'm totally going to induce vomiting if he wins. Every time I think about four more years with that idiot, I get nauseous, so throwing-up seems to be an appropriate gesture.

On a totally separate note, do you think it's inappropriate to karaoke to Cat Stevens songs now that he's banned from entering the U.S.? Because if I get booed off stage, I want to get booed off on account of my bad singing, not my song choice.

"Oh baby, baby, it's wild world..."

Fleece (PMS) Day Thursday

Well, today is another Fleece Day, but only in spirit. I have a business lunch so I actually had to wear normal clothes and had to blow-dry my hair, rather than do what I usually do which is to leave it wet in an unattractive bun. Yesterday ended pretty disastrously and somehow, due to a whole bunch of unfortunate circumstances, I ended up having to walk home from the office last night. It's too dumb a story to get into and it's not a long walk at all (20 mins) but it sucked, especially since I had walked Pig to the office in the morning and back at lunch, so I basically spent an hour of my life walking around L.A. The hormones were still going crazy and I cried about work while eating the crabcakes Max made for me, and then cried when I opened the mail and saw a card from the rescue group (The Bill Foundation) where I got Pig from. I had made a donation, and it was a thank-you card. On the cover of the card there were "Before & After" pictures of a dog they had rescued and the "Before" picture made me cry. Poor little dog was all matted up, dirty and had been abandoned. Awwww....so sad. That could've been Pig. I had to hide the card way in the back of my financial files (for tax deduction reasons) Max shook his head and said he'd never seen me so emotional. So to cheer me up, he went to the grocery store and bought a bottle of wine and Haagen-Daaz Coffee & Toffee Icecream bars. And he did the dishes too even though he made dinner so that was nice of him.

But today is a brand new day! I'm going to try to stay positive and focused on work. Besides, tomorrow will be Friday and the weekend will soon be here and my Netflix Cheers DVDs are on their way so everything will work out just fine.

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

The Cosby Show

Watched two back-to-back episodes of "The Cosby Show" during lunch. And no, I didn't cry. I love that show. If I had to live in a tv show, I think I'd probably live in "The Cosby Show. " Maybe be born between Denise and Theo, because I'd want a buffer between me and Vanessa, who's pretty annoying. I like a lot of shows, but I probably wouldn't want to live in most of them. "Golden Girls" come to mind as a show I love but wouldn't want to live in. Definitely not "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" or "Ally McBeal." Oh! "Laverne & Shirley." I'd live in "Laverne & Shirley" world for sure. I could be their third roommate. "Laverne & Shirley & Sareet." Heh. But only before they moved to California and lived with that weird Rhonda chick. Or "Three's Company" - I could be their fourth roommate. When I was little I didn't get that Jack pretended to to be gay. Which leads me to wonder what I thought was actually going on, but I don't remember. I think I just thought it was funny when Jack fell. I was big on the physical comedy. Still am, sadly.

Anyway, back to "The Cosby Show." I have really fond memories of it. That was the first "grown-up" show I ever saw. My parents used to make us go to sleep at 8 p.m. We'd watch "Wheel of Fortune" at 7:30 and then during the commerical break before the final round, we'd go change into our pajamas, brush our teeth, and come back to watch the last round. (my brother and me that is - not my parents) And then go to bed. Anyway, the first time I got to stay up past the "Wheel of Fortune" credits was to watch "The Cosby Show." AND IT WAS AWESOME.

Hump/Fleece (PMS) Day

Hump/Fleece Day. Bad combo. Hump Day part is obvious. Booo. Still not in bed watching my very own Cheers marathon. Fleece Day (which only applies Mon-Fri - fleece on weekends or in the evenings has no attached meaning so if you see me then, don't worry) means I wear a fleece pullover to the office and am either PMS-y or sick. Does not bode well for anyone around me and most of my office mates know to stay away. Means it is highly likely I am wearing the t-shirt I wore to bed last night under the fleece. Unfortunately, because I live in L.A., it was too warm to wear fleece today, so I had to settle for a sweatshirt, which means some unsuspecting co-worker might get his head chewed off. Hopefully it won't be my assistant, who is new and helpless. Yesterday I nearly cried in my office, cried watching "The Cosby Show" at lunch and got teary-eyed watching "That 70's Show" at night. Crying during SITCOMS. Not a good sign. I'm totally hormonal right now and super sleepy. My mind is going like this:


In a span of about three seconds.

Tuesday, September 28, 2004


Since I'm on Day 2 of my new found healthy living lifestyle (I jogged and took a pilates class yesterday!), I went to a yoga class this morning. The instructor looks like a young Martha Stewart and has a weird east coastish accent. She pronounces her "a's" funny - like instead of "San Francisco" she'll say "Sahn Frahncisco." I like the class but I have a hard time taking her seriously when she says things like "gaze up at the sky & feel the sun" (more like "gahze up at the sky....") or "plant your feet into the earth." It's 7 a.m. and I'm "warrior posing" with a bunch of grandmas at the local Bally's. I don't know about her, but when I look up, I notice that this cheapo Bally's has yet to replace several broken fluorescent lights and that a few ceiling tiles are loose. And there's definitely no "earth" under my feet - just a very used, publicly-shared yoga mat provided by the gym. I'm terrified I'll pick up Athlete's Foot from it so I always wear socks. I am the only one in the class who wears socks but I refuse to be embarrassed about it. It makes getting into the poses more challenging because I don't have a good grip (as in, I can't use my sweaty feet to make me stick to the mat) but I don't care. I think it's totally unhygienic. Worse than bowling shoes - at least they spray those with anti-fungal spray. Actually while I was in "Child's Pose" today (you sort of kneel and put your head down forward on the mat, arms out and stretch), I started to worry that I might pick up Athlete's Foot on my forehead. I mean, I assume that's possible. It's just a skin fungus. I could totally have it on my forehead. Like right now. I could have those awful green things they show on the Lotrimin commercial roaming around on my forehead. I'd have to put foot powder stuff on my face. Great. I'm going to have to WebMD that and find out if it's possible to get foot fungus on my face.

Maybe I should just buy myself a mat. Now there's an idea...

Monday, September 27, 2004


Yay! Another good friend of mine has started a blog. She is a terrific person and her blog is very funny. Check it out at www.hisnameistatertot.blogspot.com

I feel like such a proud blog-spawner. I have to give due props to Julia, (www.jpchunderbutt.blogspot.com) who started me on to it. I really should figure out how to add links permanently. I've seen other blogs where people have links of their "Blog Pals" and there's a section in the blogger knowledge area about but I don't really understand it. If anyone can let me know specifically how to do it, it'd be greatly appreciated!

Weekend Recap

The thing about weekends is, if you do nothing...it lasts forever!!! It feels like it's been a whole week since I was sitting here at the office.

Anyway, Friday night, I watched a really crappy Johnny Depp movie called "Secret Window." I've finally come to accept that the reason why some movies come and go and you never hear about them even though you saw previews at the movie theater is because THEY SUCK. And I should not bother to rent them. Even if there's a good cast ("Duplex" comes to mind). I figured out the big twist to "Secret Window" 20 minutes into the movie so Max and I just watched the rest of it on fastforward and made fun of how lame and predictable it is.

The highlight of Saturday was my trip to Costco. So sad. Actually, that was the highlight of my weekend, which makes me flat out pathetic. The trick to keeping one's sanity at Costco is to get there early, and stay away on Sundays. One time I went on a Sunday afternoon and it was packed with people who had far too many kids. I'm sorry, but if you can't fit all your kids in a cart (especially the huge ones at Costco), you shouldn't bring them to the store. There should be some sort of check at the entrance. Cuz that's where they belong. In the cart. Despite the warning signs. That's the only place they're safe from people like me, who want to mow their whiny nose-picking asses down. Don't get me wrong - I like kids...a lot actually...but not when they're running into me on my way to the check out line, where I'm going drop more money than I intended to spend/have, because as usual, I got distracted by some yoga pants/towels/books/socks/misc unnecessary items.

So, Saturday night, Max went over to Josh's to hang out with him and AD. I was invited but just felt like sitting around so I stayed in. Anyway, the next day I asked Max to guess what I did the night before. He said, "I don't need to guess... I know." What a snot. So of course I made him guess. And he said, "You watched Law & Order, crocheted (Pig's blanket), read your new book and played SIMS on PS2." And I was like, "HAH - YOU'RE SO WRONG - I DID NOT PLAY SIMS LAST NIGHT!!!" I can't believe how well he knows me. Then he said, "Well, then, that was because you didn't want to get off the couch to set up the PS2." And you know what's SO SAD?? It's totally true. The only time I got off the couch was to get some Twix icecream. I was genuinely too lazy to get the PS2 console out of the tv cabinet, unwind the controllers and turn it on. Dude - come on, that's a total hassle.

Sunday. Lions lost. They suck. I don't even want to talk about it. It was a sad game and Max and I spent the whole car ride back from the bar discussing why Joey Harrington sucks. I could go into it, but I'd rather not. Oh, and I didn't try the Prime Rib. I'm trying to be healthy again. Instead I tried their "Field Goal Omelette" which was a spinach, swiss cheese and shrimp omelette. The shrimp scared me so I told the waitress to leave them out please. And it was actually pretty good, so I may stick with that next week.

Friday, September 24, 2004

Friday Afternoon Paranoia

Two things.

1.) On my lunchtime walk with Pig, a creepy plumber (creepy as in serial killer looking creepy) grins at me and says "Hey, you walk your dog every day at the same time, don't you? I saw you yesterday too!" Could be harmless...but still definitely creepy.

2.) When I walked into my office after lunch, it smelled like farts and several computer programs (the rolodex and explorer) were closed on my screen. Don't remember closing them. No reason to. So I asked around to see if any one had been in my office. Wasn't the computer guy (not here today) or my assistant (he said no, and he's new so he probably wouldn't).

So I have a ghost with a gas problem. Or a really nosey co-worker with a gas problem. And oh yeah, a potential stalker.


Also, I wanted to add a link to one of my very best friend's (my college freshman roommate) new blog, which is www.rabbitsarepeopletoo.blogspot.com She is awesome and will be getting married in 65 (or is it 64?) days. I am one of the maid of honors and thankfully, she chose a great color for the bridesmaid dresses (eggplant) and let us all choose our own cut/style. So that means no scary puffy sleeves. Mine is a haltertoppish top (i think) with a cool belt/sash thing around the waist and some skirt part. It is gorgeous! Problem is, I was being a brat at the bridal shop and insisted on ordering a smaller size so that means I will have to stop the whole I'm-Never-Exercising-Again thing and get back to gym. Some time soon. Or I will just not eat during the month of November. Except for on Thanksgiving.

Too Much TV

Oh man. Been watching way too much TV these last two days. Started Wednesday, with LOST, which I liked but didn't love. Maybe my expectations of J.J. Abrams were just too high. But there's a Sexy Tattooed Doctor/Amateur Pilot in it so I'll probably get hooked. Plus I love plots that involve a bunch of people stuck somewhere. (12 Angry Men, Flight of the Phoenix, Poseidon Adventure, Swiss Family Robinson, to name a few) And next week looks better, so there's hope. That was followed by two new Law & Orders. I miss Lenny and his "wisecracks." Denis Farina does a good job but he's no Jerry Orbach. Of course, that's not going to stop me from watching the show because I am a L&O whore and will watch it whenever it's on and at any point in the episode, even if I'm tuning in for only the last five minutes. And even if I've seen that episode several times.

So, back to the TV watchin'. Last night I caught a L&O rerun on TNT, a L&O SVU rerun on USA (yes, I know...that's the worst one, but it was about shaken baby syndrome, and not some really gross sex crime so that was okay), new C.S.I. on CBS, and then Without a Trace. I am such a criminal/procedural show junkie. I am the reason why there's three C.S.I.s and four L&Os. By the end of the night, I was totally freaked out and kept thinking about how someone could come in and kill me and Pig. And leave us dead...which I suppose would be the point of killing us.

Anyway, for all the other TV junkies out there, be sure to check out one of my favorite sites (indispensable during the fall season) www.televisionwithoutpity.com It recaps every episode in very witty way and is a total "enabler" (is that the word I'm thinking of?) to my TV addiction.

Thursday, September 23, 2004

Pig's Morning Schedule

I've noticed Pig has a morning routine. It's really cute. I know I blog about her a lot, and it's not interesting to anyone, but I just can't help it. This is her schedule (roughly):

7:30 Wake up, lick paws and self-groom
7:45 Full-body shake (for fluffing fur and giving Mom a pre-wake-up call since the collar jangles), walk over to Mom, sit and start groaning & whining (actual wake-up call)
7:50 No reaction from Mom, grunt disapprovingly, lay down and wait for 10 mins
8:00 Put paws on bed, stick nose in Mom's face - dammit, wake up woman!
8:15 Walk time - yay! Make sneezy noises while Mom gets dressed to let her know how much she sucks for taking so long to get out of bed
8:30 Breakfast
8:32 Still hungry. Gnaw on bones, do wall-to-wall sniff check of carpet for crumbs.
8:45 Sit & beg for table scraps at the breakfast table
9:00 Hmmm...wonder what's happening out on the balcony
9:00 - 9:15 Bark at garbageman, stare fight with big fat cat next door, lick bbq grill until caught
9:15 - 9:45 Sun bathe
9:45 Get back into bed for morning nap
10:00 Glare at Mom, who's late for work again, when she comes to say bye. Silently protest against the injustice of being left home by laying perfectly still in bed. Take that, bitch.

I'm not kidding - she does this every single day.

(And yes, that means I'm late for work every single day.)

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Hump Day II

Just noticed it's Hump Day again. And I'm not in bed watching my very own Cheers marathon. Booooo. That sucks. Maybe next week.

Also, while pulling out of my driveway this morning, I noticed two grown men washing their feet in the fountain in front of the apartment building across the street. I was disgusted, but also totally curious about it. I mean why? Why would two grown men wash their feet in the fountain in front of the apartment building across the street? What could they possibly have been doing that would make their feet so dirty that they'd have to wash them there???? It sort of vaguely reminded of the time I went into the laundromat and a man was standing ON (not IN) his construction boots, next to a laundry machine, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers. Reading a newspaper. That's when I decided I would never go to ANY laundromat again. I would rather lick my clothes clean than do that. Okay, maybe not. I'd rather handwash them in the bathtub. Or not. Okay, I'd rather throw them away and force myself to buy new clothes than to go to a laundromat again.

1:00 a.m.

Pig woke me up last night at 1:00 a.m. I was in deep sleep when she suddenly started nudging and whining. She's never woken me up in the middle of the night before so at first, I thought she had gone crazy. But after some more crying, I decided she probably just had to go out. And boy, did she. She couldn't even wait until we got past the gate of my bldg - she peed on some plants right next to the mailboxes in the courtyard. Funny.

Not funny is trying to fall back asleep after taking a walk (albeit just down the street - apparently she had to poop too) in the middle of the night. That's like walking hard for 15 minutes on the treadmill and then crawling straight into bed. I couldn't stop thinking and actually came up with some brilliant and insightful thoughts to blog about. Unfortunately I can't remember any of them, so maybe I fell asleep quicker than I thought. I've been very forgetful lately. The other day I couldn't remember Max's mom's name. And yesterday, I couldn't remember the name of Joyce DeWitt's character on Three's Company (Janet, obviously). The sad thing is that I've watched countless hours of Three's Co, and in fact spent a whole day watching a Three's Co. marathon on Nickelodeon. Leaky brains, I guess. Thank god I can still find my way home. For now.

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Embarrassing but Worth the Read

Two good books to read - AUTOMATIC MILLIONAIRE and SMART WOMEN FINISH RICH, both by David Bach. Totally embarrassing to have on your bookshelf (quit snickering) but you can always hide them under your bed when your friends come over. Right next to all that other stuff you hide when your friends come over. I read Automatic Millionaire a while ago and on Sunday, I picked up Smart Women. And yes, it is cheezy but I found it totally enlightening and very motivating. I'm terrible with finances and my lowest grades ever were in Accounting. (also in Econ 101 and Econ 102 - so at least I'm consistent) The very word brings back bad memories of a long summer session - three hour classes three times a week. My debit columns and credit columns were never balanced on any given test problem and I was usually off by tens of thousands. Anyway, the whole idea behind these books is not to make you an instant millionaire. It's more about how to save some money and invest it properly. It applies to people who make practically no money to people who make tons. It's also really simple to understand. Even though I took all those classes, I never knew the difference between bonds and mutual funds and all that good stuff. Or if I did, I forgot by test day. But now I do. After reading Smart Women, I looked up my bank statements (the ones I never bother to look at) and discovered my friggin' savings account was paying me interest at the rate of .1%!!! My dad pointed out that was pretty much as bad as hiding it under your mattress. So yesterday I opened up an ING Direct money market account that has a 2.2% APY. Needless to say I'm very pleased with myself. Definitely worth reading if you can get past the title and the cheezy writing. (and ignore the part where he talks about Tony Robbins because...well, it's Tony Robbins...need I say more?)

Monday, September 20, 2004

Weekend Recap

With the exception of the cake-winning excitement (see below), the weekend was pretty tame. I did manage to finish crocheting Pig's tube top. See, my sister taught me how to crochet last Christmas, but I'm terrible at it. I'm so terrible that she asked me not to tell people that she taught me. Anyway, I can only crochet scarves, so I decided to make a tube top for Pig by stitching three large scarves together. But that looked kind of silly, so I turned it into a cape. Which looks equally silly, so I think this might have to be an indoor cape for Pig. Speaking of Pig, poor thing got beat up at the celebrity dog park on Saturday. She never plays and usually just wanders around by herself but for some reason, she decided to play with this pit bull named Doris. Well, at first it was all fun and games, but then I could tell she'd had enough. Her poor tail was tucked between her legs and she kept surrendering by laying down but damn Doris wouldn't leave her alone. She didn't get hurt but I could tell she was pretty unhappy about it. I hate pit bulls.

Anyway, yesterday the Lions beat the Houston Texans! Yay! Two wins in a row. Lions looked a lot better. I showed up at Boardwalk 11 at halftime, which was perfect (although somehow I got lost on the way, even though I've been there over a dozen times...don't ask) Ordered the burger...not so great. The waffles I had last week were not so great either. They only have 8 items on their food menu, and there are a total of 16 games, so I'm going to keep trying something new until I find something I like. Hopefully that'll be soon...otherwise, it's gonna be a long season. Next week I'm trying the Prime Rib w/ eggs...although I don't have high hopes. A place that can't make a good burger is not likely to make a good prime rib. But it never hurts to try...unless it gives me food poisoning. Which it won't. Probably. Right?

Free Cake

So, not many people know this but I am a cake-winning genius! I won a free cake from Pavillions on Saturday. They were giving them out every half hour. I guess they do a ten second countdown every half hour and everyone runs and stands on a number (they have a whole bunch of them all over the floor of the grocery store) Anyway, I totally missed the announcement because I was standing in the paperback aisle trying to decide if I should buy a cheezy romance novel. (I got distracted by a romance novel by Nicholas Sparks pretending not to be a romance novel - the cover was very simple looking, rather than of a woman in flowerly dress in the arms of naked man) Anyway, this woman runs and stands on the number right next to me and as I was walking away, I just knew in my heart that that number would be called. And it was! But it turns out the woman worked for Vons (owned by the same company that owns Pavillions), so she wasn't eligible to win. So the produce guy, who saw me standing near her, told me to hurry and stand on her number, and that the manager was coming with the cake. So I rushed over, stood on number 13 and won a big coconut cake! The thing is, when I was in fifth grade, I did this cakewalk thing at the school fair, and landed on number 12, and just knew in my heart that it would get called and it did! And I won a free box of cupcakes. Clearly, I am a cake-winning genius. A psychic cake-winning genius.

Friday, September 17, 2004

Dodgers Game

I went to the Dodgers game last night and it was surprisingly very fun. I say surprisingly only because baseball totally bores me and I can't even stand watching the highlights of it on Sportscenter. But I love live sporting events so I agreed to go and had a blast. The only unfortunate thing is that I didn't get to see anyone make a run. The score was 2-0 when we got there (they were playing the Padres). The Padres did make one run but at the time that it happened, I was watching a fight break out in the stands so I totally missed it. Final score was 3-0 so that was that. Real fights are fun to watch though. I've noticed that they seem much less effective than fights in movies. They keep pummelling, but don't seem to actually connect very often.

We got these bilingual talking mini-Fernando something key chains at the game. I guess he's some famous baseball player. When you press the button on his back he says something I don't understand in Spanish, and then something I don't understand in English, but ends with "Number one!" Anyway, Max hung his key chain on my rearview mirror, and Amol hung his on the bar where you hang your dry cleaning from (what is that called?). I totally forgot about them and freaked out when I noticed both of them this morning as I was backing out of the driveway. It was weird because I looked at the rear view mirror, and there he was dangling there, but then additionally, there he was again, dangling in the reflection in the mirror. Does that make sense? Anyway, it was freaky and reminded me of the gnome on the Travelocity commercials. Plus for some reason, Max thought it would be funny to put lipstick on his Fernando guy so it made it even stranger.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Hump Day

Wednesday. Hump Day. Ugh. I had a really hard time getting up this morning. Pig was practically in tears before I finally rolled out of bed and took her out. Then I made coffee, ate breakfast, read a magazine and went back to bed. And couldn't get up again. I told Max I needed a pep talk so he told me I'm good enough, smart enough, and doggone it people like me. Funny, but not quite the pep talk I was looking for. Then he said "Now go win one for the team, Gipper." Obviously, that didn't help either . So he said "If you ACT enthusiastic, you'll BE enthusiastic." I thought about kicking him. But then he hooked up his mini-DVD player to the tv in my room (I was missing a cable, but he got one for me yesterday) and showed me how I can watch DVDS in bed now. So I got up, cuz I wanted to go to work to change my Netflix queueueueue (I don't have internet at home), so that next Hump Day, I can call in sick and stay in bed and watch my very own Cheers marathon (I'm on Season 3, Disc One at the moment).

BTW, Pig pooped good poop today. Try saying that ten times fast. Hopefully this means she's better and doesn't have some serious colon problem.

So here's a list of things I'm happy about today (this is my pathetic attempt to get through Hump Day):

Pig's Good Poop
Cancelled weekly staff meeting
Free bagels in the office
DVD hook-up in bedroom
Dodger's game tomorrow (I have no interest in baseball, but I like hot dogs and beer)
Leftovers from last night's yummy dinner for lunch
Lying to creepy co-worker about having a business lunch so I wouldn't have go with him to his

That's not a lot but I guess it'll hold me until tomorrow. Oh and 86% of Americans don't exercise. Sweet. Now I can lay around guilt-free.

Tuesday, September 14, 2004


So, I don't think Pig is back to normal quite yet. She had diarrhea last week and just when I thought she was getting better, she threw up on Saturday night. White rice topped with some leaves and a piece of blue gum. Lovely. Usually I can tell she's swallowed gum cuz her breath gets really minty, but I didn't notice it at all on Saturday. I'm always amazed at the stuff she pukes up. Once she threw up a cigarette butt. I try to stop her when I notice her chewing but she's so darn quick. Anyway, I'm pretty sure she's still recovering. Yesterday she didn't poop at all. Not even once. I think she's constipated. Poor Pig.

Speaking of things that eat everything in sight...there are still some diet disaster items lurking in my fridge post bbq. Sunday morning I had Cheetos for breakfast. Gross, I know. They were sitting in a bowl on my kitchen counter and I just couldn't resist. I had them for lunch yesterday too. Also, there's this frosting covered chocolate brownie cake that I keep meaning to bring to the office yet somehow conveniently manage to forget. And Twix Icecream. Goddamn best icecream I've had in a really long time. I've gone to the gym twice in six weeks so these extra calories are nestling into my body in all sorts of bad ways. Plus, I didn't floss last night. And I didn't clean my contact lenses. I'm such a rebel. Tonight I'm going to leave my clothes on the floor and not hang them up.

Monday, September 13, 2004

Weekend Recap

I woke up Saturday morning thinking about Nick, Max's best friend from Grayling. Max told me once that Nick had asked him, after an evening of some serious imbibing, whether or not it was possible to shit and puke at the same time. Sadly, I found myself wondering the same thing, as I woke up to discover my body was the battleground for a serious war between these two very opposing forces. Don't worry, this won't be one of those disgusting posts about bodily functions that always makes it to the "best of craigslist" section (why??? Also the posts about the bitchy coworker or the subway - always the same rant over and over again - find something new to be angry about, people). But it is a something worth considering - the physics of it all. Anyway, I won't go into the specifics of which side won - let's just say it was a tie.

The thing is, Friday night was not supposed to go down the way it did. Originally, we were just going to have a pretty tame night and stop by at our friend Tony's birthday party. It was at one of our frequent haunts - a karaoke bar called Boardwalk 11. But then Amol showed up. I'm just going to blame it all on him. I was pissed with him that afternoon, because he had invited everyone over to my house for a Michigan Football Game, BBQ & Party on Saturday (I had one the Sat before) and then proceeded to bail late Friday afternoon because his girlfriend was coming in town and he was going to take her to Magic Mountain. So Amol showed up, and since he was in the dog house, he kindly offered to make it up to me by buying drinks. And I decided that several Diet Coke & Vanilla Stolli's would make me feel better about it. Which it did, Friday night. Not Saturday morning though.

So, after I got over my terrible hangover Saturday, I got to watch Michigan lose to Notre Dame. The bbq party was pretty tame - I think everyone was depressed about the game and left early. My friend Mary Jane showed up late with a really gross story to tell. Apparently, she had gone hiking that morning with a friend, who fell and scraped his leg on a rock. He started feeling really sick and this weird large bumpish "skin egg" developed on his leg and they had to sit for nearly an hour until he felt better. SKIN EGG. Ewwwww. SKIN EGG. Quite possibly the grossest pairing of two words I've ever heard in my entire life.

Sunday morning, Max and I went to Boardwalk 11 again to watch the Lions game. Since there are no seasons in LA, I know fall is officially upon us when Max says "The Lions SUCK. They fucking suck." And man, they do. At least, they finally broke their 24 road game losing streak, in a really ugly win against the Bears. They hadn't won a road game since Dec 17, 2000. Paul cracked me up when he said being a Lions fan is like being in a loveless marriage - you know it doesn't work but you keep buying it presents, 16 times a year. AD agreed and said the draft is like the one time of the year you get to have sex. And right after he said that, the Lions scored a touchdown on this crazy blocked punt play thing and he screamed "WE'RE HAVING A BABY!!!" I love those guys.

Friday, September 10, 2004

My Very First Post About Football

So football season is upon us again. Last week I watched Michigan kick some non-Michigan team's ass. Last night, I watched Peyton "Interception" Manning's Colts lose again to Tom "Hottie" Brady's Patriots. I never thought I'd enjoy watching football but now that I actually understand the game (most of the time) I get into it. I need a reason to root for a team though - otherwise I find it terribly boring. Rooting for the underdog always works. Also against unlikeable players (if I catch them saying something rude or egotistical on the news - they're going DOWN). Kate also pointed out the Beating-the-Team-that-Traded-You reason, which is very good. Makes a game highly watchable. Or frankly, if the quarterback is cute (Brett Favre, Tom Brady, Matt Hasselbeck - before I realized he's bald) . So, basically, just me give a reason. Any reason.

The other good thing about football is that it gives me something to fall asleep to. Max is in three Fantasy Football leagues this year, which keeps him very busy and very on top of all that's happening in the football world. So at night, when I can't fall asleep, I'll ask him "So, what happened in football today" and then he gets really excited (about football, not me) and relays, with great enthusiasm, all that football news of the day. I like football just enough to be somewhat interested, but not enough to really pay attention, so it's like a bedtime story for me. Last night, I fell asleep to Max telling me about the Post-Game Interviews with Coach Belichick. To be fair, he does it cuz he knows it helps me sleep. But he's also really happy to talk to anyone about football. So it works well for us. Works well in the car too. "So what's going on with the Lions/Michigan/Your Fantasy Teams?" gives me control of the radio for at least 15 minutes. I'm listening to you, honey, I really am. But I'm listening to Britney too.

Thursday, September 09, 2004

My Very First Post

So - yay! I have a blog. I've wanted one for a while - ever since I started reading Julia's (I'll have to figure out how to put a link to hers here) but I couldn't come up with a web address. I know that sounds really lame but I can never come up with good user names either. I usually go with something really tacky like "DimSumDiva888" or "AnnArbor99." Lately, I've been using some variation of "Peggy Sue" (my dog aka Pig). The easy thing would be to just use my own name but I get really paranoid about that. I'm afraid that I'll end up playing hearts or poker online against someone who knows me - and knows I should be busy at work. Wonder if anyone else worries about that.

I've looked at other people's blogs and they always have such insightful and interesting things to say. I don't. At all. At least not at the moment. I don't even have a good anecdote today, although I do, at the moment, have ten variations of pink nail polish on my fingers. If you worked at a drugstore, and saw some girl try on every bottle of pink nail polish, would you say something? Seriously - is that a bad thing? Cuz I assume everyone does that. Like eating grapes at the supermarket. Or cherries. (discarding the pits always proves to be problematic though) Sometimes, I'll even poke a hole through the wrapping of, say, bed sheets, to see if the fabric feels nice.

I don't even like pink nail polish. But I bought a bottle. Also, a bottle of Diet Dr. Pepper. I don't like Dr. Pepper (Diet or regular) either so I don't know what was going through my mind at the moment. Also, I got it at this Sav-on (Santa Monica & La Cienega) that I find entirely loathsome. I hate that Sav-on. It's totally disorganized and there's always some kind of body fluid on the stairs to the parking lot. Today it was vomit.