Friday, October 29, 2004


I don't usually do much for Halloween but this year I've got some plans. I'm having people over to watch the big Michigan/MSU game tomorrow. On Sunday night, just down the street from me, there's a huge crazy Costume Carnaval where tons and tons of people go every year dressed up as just about anything you can think of. The best costumes are usually pretty outrageous and offensive but funny. Definitely not for kids. All the bars are open, there's live music and I seem to remember some food stalls. It's kind of like our Mardi Gras. I'm having people gather at my place for some Halloween pre-partying and then we'll walk down the street to join in the festivities.

This is the first year since I moved out here that I'm going to dress up. I haven't decided for sure what I'm going as but I'm thinking of going as Go Go Yubari, the Japanese School Girl Killer from Kill Bill. I'm not a big Tarantino nerd, but it seems like a fun and easy to throw together costume. I'm trying to convince my friend Cody, who's tall and blond, to go as either Uma or Darryl Hannah. Darryl Hannah would be easier I think - an eye patch and nurse's outfit.

I think I'm going to be a big Halloween dork and get skull goblets and cups for us to use on Sunday. I might even put up some decorations. Plus, Pig will definitely join in for some of the fun and wear her fire chief uniform. (so cute!)

Maybe it's the sugar rush from all the candy I've had today but I'm so excited!!! AHHHHH!!!!

Super Dog

Okay, we all know how much I love Pig. But if I ever had a seizure, I'm pretty sure she'd just grunt and go back to sleep.


Thursday, October 28, 2004

My Closet

There is a monster in my closet and it likes to eat black sweaters with zippers. It eats them up whole and doesn't leave the slightest trace of them behind. Not even a little piece of thread. I've lost two to it already. :(

Team America

So last night, Max and I went to a special screening of Team America. The Chiodo Brothers (the puppet makers), the production designer, the lead puppeteer and the set decorator did a Q&A panel afterwards. The movie was really funny and the panel was great. Really funny guys with good stories about the all behind-the-scenes movie making magic. Best piece of random info - they stuffed bits of food into the puppets for their "innards" in the death scenes and Trey Parker insisted that Michael Moore be stuffed with ham. Funny.

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Bridesmaid Dress II

Just so everyone knows the predicament I'm in and doesn't chalk this up to me exaggerating, the size of the dress I ordered has a waist measurement of 25". (I just confirmed it on the website) At the time I ordered it, my waist measured at 26" but being the stubborn idiot that I am, I insisted on getting the 25" one and told myself I'd just work out a little bit more before November.

My waist is currently AT LEAST 27"

That's two inches people. Before Thanksgiving. Fuuuuuuck.

Bridesmaid Dress

So ElliotPreciousPants wedding is officially 31 days away and I am so so so in deep shit. There is no way in hell I'm going to fit in the bridesmaid dress I ordered. Which, as a reminder to evreebodee (hmm...sorry...just slipped into Groverspeak for a second there), I did order a size smaller than what I was back in April, before several months of inactivity and binging. And I can't even do anything about it. Okay, maybe "can't" is a strong word but seriously, I'm having a really hard time reducing my calories. I AM HUNGRY ALL THE TIME. I think there's some lingering hibernation instinct going on here. It happens every fall. Or at least that's my excuse. And exercising? Exercising sucks. I don't know how I used to do it cuz I can barely stand walking Pig these days. I still haven't gone back to the gym yet. They're going to have to take the extra material from the hem/bottom of the dress, take out the zipper, and patch the extra fabric in like a skin graft or something, to give me more room in the waist. Or I'm going to have to leave the zipper undone and wear a shawl over it. I don't know which is worse - not fitting into the dress, or barely fitting into it so that the imprint of my belly button shows through the material. You know what I'm talking about - we've all seen it before and it's not a pretty sight.

Argh. Must. Stop. Eating.

Monday, October 25, 2004

Grumpy Office Pig

So I walked Pig to the office after lunch today. She spent the afternoon crying, whining, grumbling and otherwise complaining about the total shittiness of being here. Once in a while, she took a break and napped for few minutes. Ironically, this is what I do. After lunch. Every day. Nap included.

Grumpy Office Sareet.

Weekend Recap

Oom pa pa, Oom pa pa...

Well, I had a really nice weekend. Max made me meatloaf on Friday night, which is one of my very favorite foods. Even though it sounds totally gross, I love it. I have this obession with foods that are super all American, and meatloaf definitely falls in that category. Also tri-tips and trout almondine. And rice pilaf, cuz when I was younger, we only ate Chinese white rice. Anyway, we sat around and drank wine and watched tv so it was a very nice and comfy Friday night.

Went to the library Saturday morning and picked up some more Agatha Raisin books. Also a book called "The Inspector and Mrs. Jeffries." Another cozy mystery. Seriously, I just can't stop reading that crap. It's become a terrible addiction. Saturday night was all about Oktoberfest 2004. I volunteered to drive, which is my way of getting people to go somewhere cheezy with me. Max and I picked up Josh and Rebecca and made our way to the Alpine Village in Torrance. It's amazing - if you drive even 20 miles out of Los Angeles, people start looking like they're from Michigan. As in, they're not all gorgeous and stick thin. But they were still better looking than the people at Cedar Point. If you've ever been to Cedar Point, you know what I'm talking about. Anyway, Alpine Village did not look like Frankenmuth, so that's too bad. I've never been to an Oktoberfest before and I guess I thought it would be like a Bavarian Renaissance Festival. Instead, it was more like a big outdoor party with long tables, beer, crappy food and music. But it was lots of fun. We all bought big beers but were too cheap to buy the steins that go with it so we drank out of huge 32 oz styrofoam cups. We jigged to the Oom Pa Pa band, and shouted "OY OY OY" and made multiple trips to the bathroom (Josh and Max each had two big beers so you can only imagine how long the bathroom lines were at this place) and then went home.

Sunday, I just couldn't muster the energy to go watch the Lions play the Giants, which is too bad, cuz they won! Amazing. They actually suck way less than they used. Instead, I read my Agatha Raisin books, took Pig for a walk and made the cookie dough for some Black & Whites (got the recipe from yes, the silly Chocolate Chip Murder Mystery book) I guess you have to chill the dough overnight so it gets firmer. Anyway, I was going to make them to take to Kate's house on Tuesday, where she was going to feed me and few friends but our little dinner gathering got moved so now I don't know what to do with all this cookie dough. I think I'm just going to practice until I make a decent batch because I burnt my first batch this morning. And they were really really ugly too. I guess I made them way too big (in my mind "walnut size" is about the same as "golf ball size" but apparently walnuts are smaller) so they looked like large, dome-shaped chocolate muffin tops with odd patches of powdered sugar on them. Definitely not things you'd bring anywhere.

Friday, October 22, 2004

My Hair on a Boring Friday Afternoon

So I've noticed when people have long hair, they tend to be pretty preoccupied with it, compared to people with short hair. Since I've had both, I can attest to this. I've been working hard at growing out my hair and now that it's finally at shoulder length, I can't stop thinking about it. That's terrible, isn't it? It's just that it's always in my way. I mean, I can see it, even when I'm not looking in a mirror. Annnnnyyyyywaaaaay, my new obsession is with blow-drying it. I've avoided blow-drying it for awhile but this week I decided it was time to start wearing my hair down, instead of wet and in a bun. So, being the ever so obsessive person that I am, I actually looked up on the internet (or the Internets, according to Bush) about how best to blow-dry your hair. Yes, uh huh. I did. And you know what? I've been doing it wrong for my entire life. Seriously. Apparently, to avoid frizz (and my hair is SO unfairly NOT your typical asian hair - it frizzes like crazy) you're supposed to point the blowdryer down the length of your hair. I've always just flipped my head over and waved the blowdryer around haphazardly. AND THAT WAS THE WRONG WAY. Something about sealing the cuticle shaft. I don't know. Either way, I did what the website told me to do (apply straightening crap, divide hair in four sections blah blah blah) and voila! It was amazingly less frizzy. Who knew?

So like, oh my god, I swear, I'm, like, so not as vacuous as my, like, blog makes me sound...

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Baseball Rant

So I actually watched the baseball game last night between the Yankees and the Red Sox. I've never really watched baseball on tv but since it was such a big deal I found it interesting. Sort of. Just for the record, I hate baseball. I think it's boring, plus I have really bad memories of it from middle school. I'd like, for a second, to bitch about my stupid middle school P.E. teachers. I distinctly remember being mortified because I lost the game for my team once, during gym class, when I ran over a base, instead of staying on it. I think it was first base, and Max explained to me that's actually legal, so maybe it was second base or something. Regardless, don't you think a responsible P.E. teacher would take the time to EXPLAIN THE FUCKING RULES before he forces his students to play???? Because if I had known I couldn't run over the base, I wouldn't have done it, and I wouldn't have lost the game for my team, and I wouldn't have been embarrassed for the rest of the week!!! Grrrrr.....just thinking about it makes my blood pressure go up. You know what else makes me mad? On the last day of that school year, as a "Fun Day" treat, we had to play baseball. I, of course, having not forgiven the sport and its stupid rules, whined and bitched about it. However, I did dutifully stand in left field or wherever, and maybe I wasn't paying attention to the game, but I did at least stand there with a glove. And maybe the ball flew past me, and maybe I ducked, but it was genuinely a reflex and besides, that's what they get for making me play and telling me that it's actually a treat. Then I got pulled aside and got yelled at by another P.E. teacher for being a bad sport. Did I mention this was ON THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL, one of the best days of the whole year, when life is supposed to be totally awesome??? I pointed out that making me play baseball was hardly a fun experience for me and was akin to physical torture and that if they really wanted me to have fun, they should just let me stay in the library but the teacher just kept yelling at me. She was a really mean evil woman who spat when she yelled. Which then made me nervous cuz I was a nervous kid and I just kept thinking about the germs that were flying towards my face, and the fact that this whole situation was entirely unfair.

Goddammit, she should be glad I can't remember her name. I am so NOT above toilet papering people's houses, even at my age.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Baked Goodies

I don't know if it's the weather or the fact that I'm reading that silly mystery about a cookie caterer, but all I want to do is to bake things. Normally this wouldn't be a problem, but considering the fact that Max is trying to lose weight, and I have a wedding to go to and haven't worked out in three months, it's really not a good idea to have baked goodies laying around. Last weekend, Max only had one slice of my apple pie and I had the rest. Yes, the rest of the whole pie. All by myself. In two days. Sunday morning, I had two slices of pie with whipped cream FOR BREAKFAST. So unhealthy. But so good.

What I really want to do is to bake cookies and get rid of them by giving them to my friends but I'm afraid they'll get mad at me. It's sort of like chain e-mails. When I was living with Kate, someone gave her these awesome homemade peanut butter cookies and she of course shared them with me. I had such a love/hate relationship with those damn cookies. They were so bad for me but I just couldn't leave them alone. I need to find a bake sale or something that I can contribute to, although I have a feeling no local school is going to let me wander in and dump some Rice Krispie treats on their Band Camp bake sale table.

Monday, October 18, 2004


This is my aunt's dog Boris. He prefers carrying dirty socks and my grandma's bras but he was being quite the Don Juan the day this pic was taken. Posted by Hello

Weekend Recap

This post promises to be as boring as the weekend itself.

Okay, for starter's, Friday night was so dull that I actually don't remember what I did. I called Max just now to see if he could remember, but he couldn't either, so I'm assuming we ate dinner and watched tv together.

Saturday was the official start of my Old Lady Weekend. I got up and walked Pig to the ATM machine to deposit my paycheck. Then I went to library and checked out several Agatha Raisin books (not recordings, but the actual books) and that silly Chocolate Chip Murder Mystery book. So terrible, isn't it? I should read a "worthwhile" book for every two crap books I read. Anyway, then I went to the grocery store to pick up some butter because I decided to bake an apple pie from scratch. And despite the fact that it was not as fun as I thought it would be, and the fact that it looked really really ugly cuz I didn't have a rolling pin, it turned out delicious! (see, when you read silly books you say things like "delicious") I had some pie, coffee, started one of those books, and then took a three hour nap. It was a great day. Later that night, Max and I watched SUPERSIZE ME, which was every bit as interesting as I thought it'd be. Definitely made me wish I didn't eat so many McNuggets last weekend on my drive to and from SF.

Sunday was supposed to be carpet cleaning day, but on account of the rain, I decided not to, since the carpet would take longer to dry. Not that it rains IN my apartment, but it does get humid. Anyway, I met Max at the end of a really sad Lions/Packers game at Boardwalk. I'm so glad I didn't bother to watch the whole game. We went to Costco, and I'm pleased to say that I saw lots of people pushing their kids IN the carts. Maybe people actually read blogs. Then I took Pig to Petco to get her nails cut. She is a Genius Pig, I tell you. She got in the car happily, but when we were at the stoplight at Santa Monica & Doheny (which is a really long light) I think she figured out where I was taking her cuz she started groaning anxiously. Sort of like a "WAIT A SECOND...." realization came over her. Then when we actually got out of the car, she wouldn't go in the pet store. But at least she didn't get freak out too much this time. The woman put her up on a little table and I had to hold her and she did panic twice and did the splits on the table but we were able to get her nails done.

Last night was a tough TV night for me. I had to choose between Desperate Housewives, Law & Order Criminal Intent, and Romy & Michelle's High School Reunion. I think I hurt my thumb switching back and forth. Now I know how Max feels on weekends during football season.

Friday, October 15, 2004

Pig Pics

Yay! I've finally figured out how to post pics. Here are some of Pig - they're in backwards order of what I was trying to do but oh well.

Pig without headgear Posted by Hello

Here's Pig being festive for Xmas. Posted by Hello

Here's another one of her. Posted by Hello

Easter Pig

This is Pig. Posted by Hello

Cozy Mysteries

Bearing in mind that I'm a 26 year old woman living in LA and not a 65 year grandma of seven living in Wisconsin, is it as sad as I suspect it is that I want to read "Chocolate Chip Cookie Murder: A Hannah Swenson Mystery"?

Hannah Swensen, amateur sleuth, runs an eat-in cookie establishment in little Lake Eden, MN. When the well-liked milkman is murdered in the alley near her shop, Hannah joins forces with the deputy sheriff, who just happens to be her brother-in-law. While delivering cookies, catering scouting events, and otherwise gadding about the community, Hannah gathers important clues. Family and other connections, concern with finding Hannah a "steady," and several cookie recipes lend this debut series a small-town, rural flavor. This mystery is pleasant and easy to take.

BTW, it comes with seven cookie recipes in the back, and I fully intend to try at least one.

What the *#$&#$ is wrong with me????

Could've Been Bad

Whew. Close one. The Big Boss Man 2 (there are two BBMs in my office), who's been out of town on vacation called this afternoon and was quite irritated that several of my co-workers were out of the office. Luckily, I decided not to play hooky today. Not that I ever do that, of course. Thank god I couldn't find any parking spaces at the library and had to head back to work instead.

So I caught some Celebrity Poker on tv today. It was an episode featuring one of my very favorite bad actors - Michael Vartan. So cute. I haven't played poker in so long. I really miss it. Maybe it's time to organize Wimmin's Poker Night again - and actually play this time.

My big weekend plans include carpet cleaning, crocheting, and Cheers. So sad.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Fun Times

So lame - but I totally want to go to this! Anyone else?


Genius Pig

So last night, while I was tucking Pig into bed, I was feeling sort of guilty about how we've been skipping her morning walks. I've been really lazy and haven't taken her out the way I used to, which was for a 1/2 hour walk every morning before I left for the office. I think it's been well over a month since I last did that. So long ago that she doesn't even expect it any more. Anyway, I promised I'd take her out this morning for a walk, but since she's super sensitive to the word "walk" (she'll jump up and get all excited) I spelled it out when I was talking to her. Like, "Pig, tomorrow morning we'll go for a long W-A-L-K". Now, I know she doesn't really understand what I'm saying but this morning, she would not stop following me around the apartment. For some reason, she was super excited and kept wagging her tail expectantly and groaning (that's her way of talking) all morning long until I finally took her out for the promised walk.

Maybe it's coincidence but maybe I have a genius Pig.

Warning: A Cheezy Post

Just a thought.

I'm not trying to be all Tony Robbins, but I was thinking today, that being happy takes effort. It's hard work. Don't mean to sound like Dubya, but it's true. Maybe it's just me, but I don't think so, because I'm generally a very happy-go-lucky person. But even so, I find that it's way easier to stay in my pajamas and mope than it is to be joyous and positive. Somehow, when you're feeling sad and negative, it's just super easy to let it spiral out of control. I think we all know it deep down but sometimes, on those bad days, like PMS Hump days, we forget that it really is up to us to be happy.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

My Dream Last Night

I just had to post this because I thought it was so funny. Last night, I dreamt I was actually the fourth roommate in Golden Girls (for real - this isn't some sad attempt to reference a previous post) and I drank Zimas and cooked carne asada steaks with Dorothy. I had some problem, which I can't remember what it was, and specifically thought that Rose would be too dumb to talk to about it. Then I dreamt John Kerry was a co-worker of mine and we were sitting across from each other in our weekly staff meetings and I said "Oh I watch all your debates." And in my dream, I thought he was really hot, which is strange because in my awake mode, I don't find him attractive at all. Also, I dreamt that one of my co-workers, who's this really nice older man, was married to Andie McDowell. I asked him why he didn't tell us and he said he wanted to keep a low profile. Funny.

Exercising People

So my Dad, my brother and my brother's girlfriend (Katie) all finished the Chicago marathon on Sunday. Dad's goal was to make it through under 6 hours and I'm proud to say he did it in 5 hours and 59 minutes flat. My brother did it in 4:07 and Katie in 4:30 so congrats to everyone!! Dad called me to tell me he had a great time and it was so much fun and he's coming out to LA in March to run the LA Marathon and he wants me to run it too! Errr...ummm.....how about I just stand on the sidelines and cheer? (this is my standard answer to any one who asks me to join a sport thing) He pointed out that I could at least do the 5k run, which is around three miles so I'm actually thinking about that. That probably wouldn't suck too much. And it would be nice to be a part of the very thing that causes a tremendous amount of traffic every year.

Also, I learned when I was up in SF that my mom has been taking a long walk every day and I think that's really awesome. I'm really proud of her because this is the same woman who used to stalk people coming out of the mall and follow them in her car to their cars in an effort to find the very closest available parking space. I think she waited over half an hour once. And she's never exercised in her life and took Bowling to fulfill her P.E. requirement in college. So anyway, yay for my mom too!

Weekend Recap

So I drove up to San Francisco on Friday afternoon. Skipped out of the office at lunch fairly unnoticed, although since Monday was Columbus Day, I had a feeling it was more obvious than normal. The drive was uneventful and dull. Luckily the presidential debate was on so time went by faster than I thought it would. Pig was very well behaved and we shared some fries and chicken nuggets from McDonald's on our way up. When I got to my grandparents' house, my mom, Aunt Marilyn, and Aunt Laura were all inexplicably wearing their glasses (they usually wear contacts) and had baseball caps on backward. I think it had something to do with an inside joke about the mahjong game they where playing. Weird thing is I could barely tell them apart. I'm not contributing to the stereotype that all Asians looks alike (although you figure with the billions of us out there, there's bound to be some repeating) but damn, my family members really do look alike, especially when they're all wearing glasses and backward baseball caps. I quickly settled into what I do most when I'm up at San Francisco - eat, play with the dogs (my Aunt Marilyn has a yellow lab named Boris) and watch tv. I know that sounds boring but I find it relaxing.

Best part of the trip was the buffet we went to on Sunday morning for my Grandpa's b-day. It was a very fancy buffet at the Ritz-Carlton up on Half-Moon Bay (I think that's what it's called). Anyway, we had a private dining room that overlooked the ocean. And the buffet - good god, that was some buffet. There was sushi, shrimp cocktail, crab claws, caviar, prime rib, and tons of fancy gourmet food things like cauliflower cream with truffels and chilled asparagus soup. The desserts were awesome - I think I had about five different desserts. My mouth still hurt from all the damn kankersores (I actually got a few more on the other side of my tongue so now I'm officially a mute on a liquid diet) but the food was so good that I managed to eat through the pain.

So anyway, there was a lovely surprise for me when I got back to the office today (Tuesday - I called in sick yesterday to drive back home - technically I was sick - the kankersores were killing me and I developed a cough over the weekend) My carpet cleaner came!!! So I tried it out at lunch. It worked really well - it got out all the stains that I could see. It cleaned the high-traffic area although it's harder to tell how well it worked on those areas since it's not like cleaning a spot that actually goes away. I think I'll be able to tell better after it dries. My carpet must be filthy. The dirty water that the machine sucked up was really really disgusting.

Here are the pros:
The price (altogether with shipping and handling it came to $125)
The size (12 lbs), will fit easily into my closet and won't be hard to move around
Easy to assemble
Suction Power - I think it cleaned "deeper" than the Rug Doctor I rented before
Ergonomic - works like a vacuum cleaner so it doesn't hurt my back (which the Rug Doctor did)

The cons:
The clean and dirty water tanks are small so if your carpet is really dirty, you'll have to change the water pretty frequently
I could only find it online at Target.com so I had to pay S&H fees

Anyway, it's called the Bissell QuickSteamer PowerBrush if anyone is interested.

Friday, October 08, 2004

Marathon Runners

I just wanted to give a shout-out to my Dad, my brother and my brother's girlfriend and wish them good luck this Sunday. They are all running the Chicago marathon, which I think is awesome. I once briefly tried to train for a marathon but only got to the point where I could run four miles. And it sucked so much that I couldn't imagine running twenty-six miles so I hung up my running shoes and sat on my ass (really, where else would you sit on?) for several months.

Mother Hubbard's Cupboard & the Bitchy Librarian

The whole eating-everything-in-your-house experiment has gone pretty well. I don't have anything left in my fridge but condiments, bread, soy milk, a few slices of old cheese, an onion, an orange and about eight cups of yogurt (leftover from a Costco size pack I bought a few weeks ago). I did cheat a little bit cuz, well, I was hungry as hell and I wasn't gonna take it any more. Heh. After Wimmin's Poker, I took a late night trip to the Steak Depot down the street from me and had me a mushroom steak sandwich. Lunch yesterday was Panda Express and dinner was Subway - so, okay, I guess I cheated a lot. But there really wasn't much left to eat. Just a few items. And I was so determined to empty out the freezer that I ate the frozen falafels this morning for breakfast. They were good - I have no idea why I've avoided them for so long.

I've decided to make the drive up to SF today. After paying a hefty library fine this morning and fighting with a VERY rude librarian (I'm not going to even get into it - just makes me angry), I checked out a bunch of books on tape. I was disappointed because I usually check out these really corny "cozy mystery" books written by M.C. Beaton. They're totally for senior citizens and are about this old silly English woman named Agatha Raisin (see how silly) who solves murders in her local village in England. Really really lame. But I love them because they're easy to listen to and make the drive go by fast. Anyway, they didn't have them, EVEN THOUGH I REQUESTED THEM (okay, this is getting into dangerous territory for me because it's making me think about that stupid librarian) so I had to check out some other books. Unfortunately, the library I went to is the local one which is just down the street from me but sucks. And is dirty. (It really is - I had to wash my hands after I left.) Anyway, I got what should be some light listening - a Neil Simon play read by Richard Dreyfuss, The Devil Wear's Prada, some Janet Evanovich trash mystery novel starring Stephanie Plum - a sassy female bounty hunter, and an English mystery about a cat and a Tiffany lamp with an elderly female detective (I was clearly looking for a substitute for my Agatha Raisin mysteries). Hopefully that will keep me occupied until the second presidential debate comes on, which I may or may not get on the radio, depending on where I'll be on my drive.

Thursday, October 07, 2004

Mouth Pain

I bit my tongue and now I have a big kankersore there. Also I bit the inside of my mouth below my lips in front of my bottom teeth (is there a word for that area? or at least a better way of describing it? the backside of my chin skin? or is that just my bottom lip?) and have a big kankersore there too. Makes talking incredibly painful. Unfortunately, my job requires me to talk nearly all the time so it's been a bad day. Last night, I bought some Anbesol stuff, which numbed my mouth and made me drool. Also made the skin inside my mouth flake off in a really weird way. The same thing happened with some generic listerine I used a while ago. Max made me throw it out after I showed him how the inside of my mouth was peeling out. Literally. I actually spat out my inner mouth skin, along with the fake listerine. Really gross.

Pig and I are going to visit family in San Francisco (technically, outside of SF) this weekend. Probably leaving tomorrow, although I haven't decided for sure yet. My mom is in town and my grandpa's b-day is on Sunday so that's why I'm taking this little trip. I'm looking forward to it. My grandma's an awesome cook. I think I'll ask her to make me some soup that eases kankersore pain. Actually, it doesn't really but according to the Chinese, it can cool the "fire" in you. Apparently too much "fire" will give you kankersore and zits, which is why when I was a teenager, my grandma told me to rub watermelon rinds ("cooling" elements) over my face to help with the acne. Which I did. Which you absolutely shouldn't. Because it just leaves your face sticky and disgusting. And you'll be scared that ants will eat your face while you sleep.

Wimmin's Poker Night

Well, last night was awesome. I went over to my friend's house for a night of Ladies Poker. First time ever that a whole bunch of us wimmin' folk got together to play. It was definitely a very highly charged estrogen night for us and I'm proud to say we covered about three seasons worth of Sex & the City topics in four hours. We were pretty bad. Like a SNL skit a guy would write about women. Issues discussed included: yeast infections, urinary tract infections, birth control and their pros & cons, skin care & wrinkles, douchebags, male strippers, weddings (gowns, dresses, bachelorette parties, hair, shoes, make-up, location, size, cost), breast cancer, aging, exercise regimens, hair styles, and of course men and sex. And PMS, periods and tampons (size, shape, the silliness of that little diagram that comes in the box) To be fair, we did discuss politics and specifically Iraq and whether or not elections should be held in January. Then we talked about how cute John Edwards is.

Funniest thing, we were so busy talking we didn't even end up playing poker.

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Hump Day Blatherings

Well, I thought Edwards did a fine enough job. I don't think he was particularly great in the beginning of the debate but he seemed to settle down in the middle during the domestic issues part and I thought he made several good points. Cheney was impressive - he does have this very knowledgeable air about him that I'm sure a lot of the conservatives respond to. Still, I don' t think the vp makes a huge difference, which is why I'm pretty sure last night's debate was a wash in terms of voters. Cheney did a better job than Bush, Edwards didn't blow it, and thus, things are still pretty even.

On a juvenile note (keeping in theme with this week's posts about farts and sausages) I have such a crush on Edwards. I loved it when he kept messing up and laughing cuz he kept saying Kerry's name, even though he wasn't supposed to. Also, when he laughed and said "Did you figure out you were wrong?" to the moderator. SO. CUTE. I'm going to take down my Justin Timberlake poster and put up a big poster of Edwards over my bed.

I bought a carpet cleaner machine last night online. It's a Bissell Power-brush. I wish I didn't have to order it online but unfortunately, that's the only place to get an affordable good machine. You'd think I live in Alaska, but I don't - I live in Los Angeles, which is huge. But apparently no one cleans their carpets in LA. I went to two different Targets and a Sears and could only find the really small ones (that got bad reviews online from customers) or the super expensive ones. Oh and I went to Home Depot and Costco as well, so I really exhausted the possibilities. So I decided to suck it up and pay the $15 in shipping and handling fees. I'm really excited about cleaning my carpet - I know that sounds so lame but sometimes I get really excited about cleaning. I love cleaning my closets, for example, or re-organizing my pantry. I even like cleaning the fridge, although for some reason, I hate doing the dishes.

Blah blah blah. Bored at the office. I had a good morning actually, and stayed focused on work for several hours but now the enthusiasm is beginning to drain away.

I think I'm going to go take a long lunch.

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Airwick Airfreshener

So as I had mentioned before, I have either a gasy ghost or a gasy co-worker. I noticed several times last week that my office smelled of stale old farts when I got here in the morning. Like stale old man farts. One day, I asked another co-worker if I could borrow her scented candle and she said sure and walked it over to my office. She said she could smell the fart in the hallway and in my office so it was definitely not just my imagination. (As if I would imagine something that vile....) Anyway, she's very thoughtful and surprised me with an Airwick airfreshener today. Country Berries. Mmmm.....

Foster Kid

Okay. I know I sound crazy. But I think I should foster a child. Not that I'm religious or anything, but I've gotten a bunch of signs that make me think this.

It all started with an episode of NYPD BLUE that I caught yesterday at lunch. There were a few scenes in it that were amazingly written and directed. And really made me think. It was so well-done and poignant that I'm actually going to re-cap it, even though I totally won't do it justice. Basically, the two detectives (Andy and Saved by the Bell Guy) are trying to find a foster home for this kid (15), who's being beat up at the child services place. He had been sexually abused by his mother, who's now in jail, and he's a good kid but has no where to go. Andy and SBTBG call up their cop friend Gibson, who apparently fosters kids and asks him for numbers of some foster places to call. Gibson gets all pissed, because he thinks that Andy and SBTBG are trying to trick him and want him to take this kid in and dammit, he has too many fosters already and everyone knows he has a soft spot for kids and people shouldn't take advantage of him like that. Andy and SBTBG assure him that they just want numbers and Gibson says fine, he'll give them a call with some. So later that day Gibson calls Andy and says he spoke with the missus and she says that he (Gibson) should meet the kid for pizza and if he seems okay, they'll take him in. SBTBG is concerned, cuz basically that sounds like an interview and what if it doesn't work out? He doesn't want the kid to be disappointed. Andy points out it's better than nothing, and it'll be fine unless SBTBG wants to call it off, which he doesn't. So then we see SBTBG pick up the kid, who has a black eye, from the child services place. The kid is ecstatic and has all his stuff packed and is ready to go. SBTBG clarifies that it's just a meeting first - to see if the kid likes Gibson. The kid says any place is better than this place. SBTBG says something which I don't remember specifically but somehow the kid suddenly understands and starts panicking - like what if Gibson doesn't like me? He won't like me. And starts getting really upset. SBTBG says it'll be fine. Then the guard shows up with a clipboard and says they need to sign out for the night. SBTBG signs the sheet and the guard says "See you tomorrow." The kid, all disappointed, says he better leave his bag here. And SBTBG is like, no, bring it with you. (see how well this is written???)

Anyway, SBTBG and the kid get to the pizza place. Gibson and Andy are there already, sitting across each other in this little table. SBTBG sits next to Gibson and the kid sits down next to Andy. It's an awkward scene - SBTBG mentions toppings on pizza - turns out Gibson and Andy have already ordered - pepperoni. Is it good for everyone? Kid nods. Gibson keeps staring above Andy's head (at a tv presumably) and then asks the kid if he likes football. The kid says, yeah he loves football, clearly eager to please. Gibson asks who's his favorite player and the kid just sort of blanches and says "I guess I don't really watch that much football." Awkward pause. So SBTBG says the kid's a really good gamer and Gibson is like oh yeah, we have pong. And then complains about how loud the game is. So clearly, it's not going well. (And by this point, I want to cry - I'm so invested in the story) So the kid says, trying to sell himself, "I can cook." And Gibson's like "Oh yeah, what can you make?" and the kid says "I can make spaghetti" And at this point, my cell phone rings and it's my brother so I miss the next few lines but basically Gibson starts explaining how to make a pannini sandwich. And the kid just sort of nods happily. Then the kid offers "I can clean too. " Gibson's like don't worry about that, the missus has that area covered. Then there's a loaded pause. Finally, Gibson asks the kid if he wants to stay with him, and the kid says yes and Andy and SBTBG smile at each other. And then Andy leaves and as we fade out, we hear Gibson ordering three sodas.

So I was so moved by this that I started thinking, you know I should really consider fostering a child. (not now, but some day when I'm married and have a house) There are so many kids who need good homes. Then I went back to the office and was reading a newspaper and saw an ad looking for foster parents. I've never seen an ad like that, but there it was, like a sign.

And on top of that, this morning, I went on the Internet looking for episode guides of NYPD BLUE. I figured it'd be easier and clearer if I could just cut and paste a summary on my blog, rather than re-capping myself. So I went on this site (www.epguides.com/NYPDBlue/) which had the title of every episode listed. There were over 200 episodes listed and I had no idea which one it was, except I knew it was in one of the later seasons. So I randomly clicked on one ("Guns n' Hoses") and it turned out that the very next one on the list was the right episode (and it barely mentioned the foster story so it was useless for me) THAT'S SUCH A SIGN!!!

Anyway, I'm totally full of shit and probably wouldn't foster a kid but it really did make me think that I should go volunteer, maybe at a Big Brother/Big Sister type place. Lypstyk Girl works with youth groups all the time, so I think I'm going to see if I can tag along with her some time.

Monday, October 04, 2004

Weekend Recap

So let's see. This weekend was a good mixture of rowdiness and tameness. Friday night Max and I went over to Josh's and hung out with him and AD. As usual we ended up at the local karaoke bar, although we got there too late to be able to sing a song, which is probably all for the best, given our inebriated state. Had a few more drinks and ended up at the pastry place next door. The night shift baker sells croissants and muffins on the down low (or is it lowdown - I always get them mixed up) and I scored a nice bag of goodies with all the cash I had on me - which was about six dollars. I scarfed down three muffins and a raisin croissant, thereby ending my week of Healthy Living on a rather drunk and buttered low note.

Saturday morning we went over to Amol and Paul's place to watch the Michigan football game. We brought over some hot links left over from our last bbq and AD brought some hotdogs and brats - also left over from our last bbq. Which was about three weeks ago, so thank god no one got sick. So oddly enough, all the food items were sausage shaped. Now here comes the juvenile observation - I was the only girl among a group of 13 guys watching the game so clearly it was appropriately symbolic. Get it??? Sausages at a Sausage Fest??? Heehee. Yes, I am twelve. Max and I only stayed for the game and ran some errands afterward. We ended up catching SHAUN OF THE DEAD, which is awesome and everyone should go see it if they're in the mood for a fun and original movie.

Sunday - no Lions this week so instead we just moped around. I took Pig to get her nails cut at Petco. I'm so mad at the last vet (not the one I took her to for the diarrhea but the one before that). They totally cut her nails too deep so she was terrified this time and kept bucking and crying and tried to run away. She was never like that before. The woman could barely trim her nails and told me I could come back in a week for free, to see if she could trim a little bit more off. I think I'm going to borrow my aunt's dog clippers this weekend and see if Pig will let me trim her nails. My guess is no, but she might trust me more and won't be as scared.

Max and I decided not to buy groceries this week. See, after reading SMART WOMEN, I re-figured how much money I could spend on things. And I went over budget on my grocery money last week, so Max suggested that we just try to eat everything in the fridge and pantry, in an effort to save some money and clear out some old food. So far, I've still been able to eat normal meals but I have a feeling I'll be eating a can of sweet potatoes and a granola bar for dinner by Thursday. But I have to say, this has been a really good exercise. I have all this food that I never eat (like frozen falafels and low-carb pasta) and I'll finally be able to get rid of it, without throwing it away and feeling bad. And then I'll be able to buy food that I will eat. So everyone should do this once. Even if it means eating corn and instant mashed potatoes for dinner. Which is what I had last night - although we had frozen fish too but that was gross so we didn't eat it. We also ate taquitos left over from the last bbq (compliments of Julia - thanks!).

Friday, October 01, 2004

First Presidential Debate

Well, I was very relieved last night and thought Kerry definitely did far better than Bush. He seemed poised, confident, intelligent and well-prepared. I think he spoke concisely, for once, and explained his positions quite clearly. I have to say, I was surprised by how well Kerry did and equally surprised by how poorly Bush did. I don't think Bush is a great speaker, but he can usually sound at least somewhat convincing. But I thought Bush looked annoyed, petulant (he always does, but somehow he seemed sulkier than normal) and could only repeat the same phrases over and over again. So, we'll see. Maybe there is hope after all. Maybe I won't have to induce vomiting come November 2nd.

Also, was it just me, or did Moderator Jim look like he had no whites in his eyes? Like his eyes were just all pupil?

And I thought it was funny that Laura and Teresa were wearing the same outfit. Except Teresa's top had a zipper and Laura's had buttons.

I'm looking forward to the vp debates, mainly to see how Edwards comes off. He was on CNN this morning and had this unfortunate huge bump/wart thing on his upper lip - I hope he gets that lanced by Tuesday because it was a total distraction and all I could do was stare at it. Kind of like when someone gets food caught in their teeth and the whole time they're talking to me, I just keep wondering if I should tell them and how. So I end up not listening to them. Which is why I always tell people with whom I've never eaten before to please let me know if I get food stuck in my teeth. Makes a strange business lunch icebreaker but it has to be done. Nothing is worse than noticing the jungle hanging out of your mouth as you drive away from the restaurant.