Girl's Got the Right to Change Her Mind

So I didn't go as Ugly Betty. Call me vain, but I got to thinking that on a night when most girls are looking super hot, dressing up as Ugly Betty just might not be that fun. Plus I was worried that it'd trigger awkward junior high flashbacks. Who am I kidding? It'd probably trigger awkward high school flashbacks.

So, I went as Cruella de Ville instead. That way, I got to wear lots of make-up and play dress-up!

Here are some pics from the Halloween party Lypstyckgirl threw at Chez AD on Sat Night.

GODDAMMIT. WHAT IS WRONG WITH BLOGGER? I'VE TRIED FOR THREE DAYS IN A ROW TO POST SOME STUPID PICS OF ME AS CRUELLA AND IT WON'T LET ME!!! ARGH.

Pics to come when Blogger gets its head out of its own ass.

Random Thursday Thoughts

So all day long, I've been using a red Ultra Fine Point Sharpie. It's awesome. I find it unbelievably satisfying. Just discovered it's not because of it's pretty red color, or the nice squishy yet scratchy tip, but because of the SMELL. Hmmm.... I also love the smell of rubber cement, paint, white out and sometimes, gasoline.

Also - last night I dreamt up an episode of I Love Lucy. Except it wasn't with the real ILL cast - it was like a fake episode of I Love Lucy where everyone kind of looked like the original characters, but not really. Kind of like the unauthorized tv movie with Frances Fischer as Lucy. I don't remember it very well, except there was a laugh track and it was in black and white. And something where Lucy was holding on to a leather turtle shaped thing that was hanging on the wall (like a piece of art), and then Ricky came in so she pulled the leather turtle down really quickly, tore off the legs, and then wore it around her waist like a corset, so that he wouldn't know she was up to her usual hijinks. Weird.

A Decision's Been Made

So I've decided to go as Ugly Betty.

I think it's really ironic that on the one night that it's acceptable and practically obligated for women to "hootch up" (think sexy devils, sexy cats, sexy cheerleaders, etc) I'm going as a character named UGLY Betty. I've already chosen an atrocious outfit, figured out how to make fake braces, plan on drawing on some super dark eyebrows, wearing glasses and possibly sporting a faint female moustache.

Hmm. Trying to think of how best to describe the opposite of Bringing Sexy Back...closest I can figure is Pushing Sexy Away. Yep. That's me on Halloween. Pushing Sexy Away.

Benjamin and I did discuss whether or not I should go as "Slugly Betty" - Slutty Ugly Betty - but I think that's just doesn't really make sense.

So, Ugly Betty it is.



p.s. Anyone who dares to post or EVEN THINK about how it's not a stretch will get punched in the ovaries the next time I see them. And I'll KNOW. Trust me.

Amazing Columbo

So last night, Max and I sat down to watch a Columbo we had recorded earlier. Much to our delight, we discovered that the Man in Black himself played the lead!

Nose Leader

So, I broke down and got Pig a Gentle Breeder Nose Leader.

I feel bad, but it works! It really does. When she starts walking ahead of me, I just pull gently, which makes her turn her head and nose to me, and then she slows down and walks by my side.

She is, understandably, really f-ing pissed about it.

Some Thoughts

So Tattoo Neck won. I'm annoyed. Once it became clear that there was no way Michael could win (and frankly, it was sort of clear pretty early on from the glimpses of his collection they showed), I was rooting for Uli. I'd wear every one of those dresses. Except maybe that tube top one with the cleavage peep hole held together with a sabre tooth thing. Mainly because there wouldn't be much to peep at.

I'm glad that Deelishis won on Flavor of Love, but when I found her myspace page (long story - was not actually on myspace looking for her) and saw some of the behind the scenes footage, I realized she totally got the "good girl" edit. Man, there are some pretty risque pics of her floating out on the internet!

Speaking of Flavor Flav, I think I'm going to go as him for Halloween. Part of me would go as something prettier or sexier, but I've always wanted a "grill" and now I get an excuse to buy a fake one. Here's a pic, in case you (my family members) don't know who Flavor Flav is.



Here are some other suggestions, some good some bad, but all CLASSIC Max:

Meerkat (gray jumper suit and whiskers)
Amol (flannel pajama bottoms, engineer shirt, and glasses)
Chink in the Armor (erm...obvious)
Chinese Fire Drill (some complicated suggestion of painting flames on my body and attaching a drill bit on the top of my head)
Chinese Food Take-out (me in a big white box)

My other two possibilties are:
Ugly Betty (glasses, dorky clothes - would be UNbelievably easy)
Madonna (blond wig, leotard, and an african american baby doll as a prop)
Cruella de Ville (could just buy a costume - they make them of her)

Any thoughts?

I think for me it's either Flavor Flav or Ugly Betty. Maybe leaning more towards Betty, now that I think about it....

A Glimpse into Sareet

"You are most fascinated with coke addicts, meerkats and feral children."

- Max, on what I've been watching the last few days...

Updates

A couple of days ago, Pig vomited twice. First time, it was a bit of poop - like a large pat of butter's worth of poop. Second time, it was not quite poop, but was a log of what can only be described as densely entangled mulch (fiber, wood, carpet, hair, leaves, plastic clothing tag) - roughly the size of a large banana. Or small eggplant. Yeah. Called the vet, haven't gotten a hold of him yet, but I'm sure he'll inevitably tell me that's it's not possible to vomit poop. My guess is that she's just eating bunches of indigestible crap that swirl around in stomach and head into her bowels until it gets clogged and she barfs it up. Poor freaky Pig. May have to start walking her with a muzzle.

If you haven't yet, check out the Ricky Gervais Show podcasts, starring Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant and Karl Pilkington. Hysterical. You can get them on itunes in the audiobooks section. Best $6 I've spent in a long time. Although I do suspect they're making me "think dumb" if that's possible. After awhile, I feel like I'm actually thinking like Karl Pilkington, who's known as the "global idiot."

I've been subjecting Max to a lot of Columbo lately. He actually likes the show too! Last week we watched The Best Columbo Ever. I plan on writing a fan letter to the writer of that episode - his name is Peter Fischer. I think he'd get a kick out of it, knowing how an episode of something he wrote a gabillion years ago could still be so deeply appreciated today.

So many good finales to watch in the next few weeks. Flavor of Love AND Project Runway!

October - Month of Change

So much going on lately - from work stress, to Thode moving, to Elliot having her baby (yes she did!!!! I won't spoil her fun posting about it - I'm sure she'll provide us with the details soon - hopefully), to having a new apartment manager (creepy guy with a camera, surely to resurface again on this blog) to Max and I getting....DIRECT TV.

OH GLORIOUS DIRECTTV AND ALL ITS DIRECT VIDEO RECORDING CAPABILITIES!!!

At the moment I've got about 10 hours of mysteries recorded. Have I mentioned that Columbo is f%#*&ing AWESOME!!

Started reading again. There's a new Agatha Raisin book on the market but unfortunately the library doesn't have it yet. So instead I'm working my way through Middlemarch by George Eliot. I consider it a "Kate" book - 19th century English lit. I'm enjoying it slowly - it takes a little more effort to read than contemporary fiction but it's worth it.

Started going back to the gym again as well. So far, I've gone TWICE this week - yesterday and today. I think I'm going to tuck my high school reunion invite into my gym bag or something so that everytime I want to skip, I'll be inspired not to. Of course, if I never open my gym bag (the general case), that could be problem, so I may have to reconsider where to put it!