It's Friday!! Finally!!!

TGIF, right?

Nothing really new to report, although I did go to the gym last night and this morning. I figured it was about time to get back into shape, considering I spend most of the day sitting in front of the computer with my pants unbuttoned. Just realized that sounds rather dirty, but I just mean my pants are too damn tight!!! Last night's kickboxing class was good, but brutal. I really enjoyed it though and came out feeling energized and optimistic. This morning Max and I actually got up early, and I was able to take Pig for a nice walk before going to the gym. I went to a step class that was really more of sculpt and stretch class. I didn't care much for it at first, but then I realized that the slow pace of all the exercises really helped me focus on form so I think it worked out well in the end. The instructor normally teaches Pilates, so we did some of those exercises and now my back feels all straight and funny. I think I'll go back to taking pilates or yoga again - really improves my posture, which is so very poor.

More Movies

Max and I watched two more movies last night. Lately it's all about movies! I can't wait for the fall tv season to begin again!

Last night we watched The Illusionist, which while good, is not as good as The Prestige. I definitely prefer The Prestige. Then we watch Zodiac, which was surprisingly not very good. I'd been pretty excited about this movie. I like the director and I love crime stories so I thought it should be good. Instead it was too long, and boring for a good 2/3rds of it. How you can make a boring movie about a real-life serial killer is beyond me, but they managed to do that. I guess it must have made some subconscious impact on Max though - he said he had nightmares all night about family members being killed. I didn't sleep well either and had vague unhappy dreams. Strange. Either the movie was really creepy and we didn't notice, or maybe we should have slept with the air conditioner on!

My Aunt Laura sent me a great clip, which totally made me cry. Check it out! http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/living/2007/08/21/wsaz.dog.dug.out.affl

Ate way too much spicy Indian food for lunch. I GROSSLY overate - should have stopped about halfway through my chicken curry but I just plowed on ahead. Vaguely wish I could throw it up but remembered that I'm not bulimic. How inconvenient. Also, spicy chicken curry doesn't strike me as something that would be very comfortable coming up out of the stomach, considering how terrible it felt going down! And that was with four glasses of water!

Weekend Recap

Ooh. Very nice weekend. Perfect blend of going out and vegging in front of tv.

Friday night, a few of us went to a birthday party at Eleven, a bar within walking distance from my apartment. Although it's technically not a gay bar, it's definitely in the gay bar district. It was surprisingly dead, considering how lively the other bars in the area were though. We went there for Rebecca's friend's bday party, and after we hung out a bit and all had a chance to experience using a unisex bathroom (strange) we decided to take the opportunity to check out a few other bars. First, we stopped at a club called Ultra Suede. I tried to convince the bouncer that I was a blogger who was doing reviews of clubs in the local area and to let me in to scope out the place real quick. He did let me get to the front of the club (he was guarding the stairs that lead up to the entrance), where I could peak in, but the girls manning the actual front door wouldn't let me thru for free. It looked fun though - it was Madonna night, and they were playing all Madonna songs. We didn't go in since the cover was $12 and that'd buy us only about an hour in the club, but the bouncer did give me a couple free passes for another night, so maybe we'll get a chance to check it out some other time. After that we went to the Rainbow Room, which was definitely interesting. An older crowd, predominately aging rockers and the aging women into aging rockers. I liked it quite a bit actually - it made for a good people watching. So, all in all, a very good Friday night.

Saturday we decided to stay in and watch tv and movies. Here are my weekend movie reviews:

THE PRESTIGE - so unbelievably AWESOME!!!! Definitely see this!!! Wow - I cannot say enough good things about this movie!!

THE NIGHT LISTENER - skip this one. Felt like a short story that got expanded and there's very little pay off in the end.

BOURNE IDENTITY - Obviously not a new movie, but we decided to rewatch anyway, and it's still good.

GOTHIKA - this was not so great. Not really scary, and I found a lot of it to be rather illogical.


Sunday night was best part of the weekend. Honestly. Our gay friend Tyler had his birthday party at a gay line dancing bar! It was really something to see - a bunch of gay men dancing in sync to country music. And there were so many different kinds of line dances too - so many different moves. I guess the dj announces what kind of dance before he plays the song so anyone who knows it goes out and dances all completely in sync. It's fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. Everyone should go to a gay line dancing bar at one point in their lives.

Anyway, that's about it. Monday. Back to work. *sigh*

Another McDonald's Related Dream

So I had a weird dream last night. I don't why, but it was set in McDonald's again, and when I reread my post for the McFuddle Dream I had last year, roughly at this time, I could see some similarities.

I wanted to buy a vanilla soft-serve ice cream cone (as you know, I've been OBSESSED with them lately) but no one could get the order right. They tried eight times - sometimes they'd give me chocolate, sometimes they forgot the cone, other times it came totally melted. I was so mad that I threatened to report the workers to the manager. I even grabbed a napkin and started to write down everyone's name with a pencil. Except part of the problem was that I couldn't tell which worker had failed, there were a whole bunch of people behind the counter and they all looked a like. It didn't really matter though, inn my heart, I knew I wouldn't actually report them, I just wanted to scare them into giving me a proper vanilla soft-serve ice cream cone. And then I woke up. Angry.

I don't know what to make of this dream. But I do know what I'm having for lunch.

Weekend Recap

Wow. Max and I have become such boring people lately. We're both trying to go out less, in an attempt to slim down before our trip to Hawaii and to save up some extra cash so we can eat and drink heartily while we're there. This makes us boring boring people. Boo.

We basically spent the whole weekend watching movies, which neither added calories to our waistlines or made a dent in our wallets. Maybe just made a dent in our brains, since many of them were pretty piss poor.

Here are my very short and concise reviews:

NUMBER 23 - terrible, weird, not scary, stupid.

PREMONITION - somewhat better than NUMBER 23 but still bad, slow, too religious

SCHOOL FOR SCOUNDRELS - had low expectations of this so was pleasantly surprised. Funny and charming.

HOSTEL - terrible, not scary, gratuitous tits, had to fastforward through most of it out of boredom

The best thing I watched all weekend? COLONIAL HOUSE. I love love love this show. I think I'm going to rent the series on DVD, rather than watching one episode a week.

So apart from watching movies, Max and I also cleaned the apartment. Woohoo!

An Anti-Stranger List

Julia gets hugged by random strangers. A lot. We've talked about why this happens to her so often. I think she just comes off very outgoing, open, and approachable - that's just her personality. I explained to her that there are little signals and things to do to avoid getting hugged by the garbageman, homeless guy, strange old lady, creepy-lascivious-old-guy, etc. I came up with a list. Now for starters, I totally admit that I'm paranoid and scared of strangers. This is undoubtedly from all the horror stories that my mom told me when I was younger - stories like the ones about the "wu-joe-bock-bock" translated loosily to mean "Uncle Filthy" (not in a familial way, you just call your elders "uncle" and "aunt" to show respect), who kidnapped children off the streets of Hong Kong, made them beggar slaves, and chopped off their fingers if they didn't bring back enough money at the end of the day. She used to point out homeless men and whisper to me that if I wasn't a good girl, she'd give me away to the "wu-joe-bock-bock" down the street. Did I mention I have an irrational fear of the homeless? Also a "good girl" complex? Other children had nightmares about monsters and ghosts - I had nightmares about guys holding "will work for food" signs.

Anyway, here were a few things I came up with to avoid contact with strangers:

1.) Don't make eye contact! This is the most basic one, which in theory should ward off about 95% of strangers.

2.) If you accidentally make eye contact, look away immediately, and for the love of god, don't smile!

3.) If you feel like you have to acknowledge them, a curt nod is generally enough.

4.) If you haven't followed 1-3, and you're stuck talking to them, pretend you're very very busy and have to go somewhere. Look at your watch. Frown. Answer in one syllable words. Do an obvious fake-tight-polite smile that quickly fades away as if to say "I'm smiling only to be polite, but you're annoying me and I've got to go!"

5.) If they try to hug you, insist that you have a cold. Fake a sneeze if necessary. Say "I hab a vewwy stubby noz!"

6.) If you still haven't gotten out of hugging them, at least make the hug as terrible as possible so they won't try it again. Accidentally elbow them in the ribs, pull their hair, step on their toes, cough in their face.

Luckily, by carefully following rules 1-5, I've never had to get to six!

Ruda-what?

Went over to Jessie's last night to watch Top Chef with the girls. She had prepared quite a spread of snacks for us - yum! Lots of veggies, a white bean dip, grapes, strawberries, and "rugula," a cookie/pastry thing which I mistakingly called "rutabaga." Haha. I knew it started with a "ru" and ended with an "a"! Then I proceeded to confuse "rutabaga" with the word "winnebago." Very different things - one's a rooty vegetable, the other, an RV. Can't believe I got through English in school.

Top Chef was satisfying - I thought the person who had to "pack their knives" deserved to go. Oh, and will someone please give Howie a friggin' sweatband? It absolutely horrifies me how the man just drips nonstop into the food he's cooking! I don't even know why he bothers salting his food, considering the amount of sweat he pours into it. Ew. Gross.

Yet Another Recall of a Chinese Product

I guess there's a recall of fresh ginger. Doesn't seem to be that serious but the suspected tainted ginger was sold in California and Michigan - I know there are a few chinese chefs who read this blog so pitch your ginger if you bought it from an Albertsons. Here's the article.

Worst Kickboxing Class Ever

So last night I roped Julia into the worst kickboxing class ever. Oh my god - it was so boring! Same few kicks and punch combinations over and over and over again for an hour. Really painful in a mind-numbing way, not in a wow-I'm-getting-a-great-workout way. While it was not the most boring class I've ever taken (I've taken one before where there was even less variety in the routine) I'm labeling this as the Worst Kickboxing Class Ever because it was such a waste of awesome music! The mix was almost entirely composed of classic Prince songs!! I was so excited when it first started and thought - "This is the class for me! I'm practically obligated by my Prince love to show up here each week!" Sadly, not even the Purple One could ever inspire me to take that class. When it was finally over, Julia said to me "That. Was. Hella. Boring." Hella yeah.

Weekend Recap

Very laid back weekend, which was nice since the last few have been busy.

Max and I discovered The Two Coreys on Friday night. Has anyone seen that show on A&E? It's about Corey Feldman and Corey Haim. Basically it just follows what happens when Corey Haim moves into Corey Feldman's house. Kind of like the odd couple as Corey Haim is a single, recently recovered addict loser and Corey Feldman actually has gotten his life together and is married with a kid and a nice house. It was the sort of thing where once I started to watch it, I couldn't stop. I was never even a fan of either of the Coreys! And I still haven't seen The Lost Boys! Anyway, that was Friday night. Oh and we also watched Hot Fuzz, which was so bad that I completely forgot I had watched it on Friday night until just now. I was really disappointed - Shaun of the Dead is one of my most favorite movies and I thought Hot Fuzz would be great, but sadly, it just sucked.

Saturday was my first near perfect day, according to the list. Got up and went to the gym for a BRUTAL kickboxing class. I think it would have been a hard class even if I were in shape. Since I haven't worked out in months, the class was impossible. I really liked the instructor though, and the music was great so I definitely plan on taking more of her classes. I managed to do everything on my list except for the Mind Improvement category. I'm really struggling with that category. The prob is I MUCH prefer just laying on the couch watching movies and tv. I did suggest to Max that we could play a game of chess but then I got distracted by, what else, the tv and that was the end of it. There was an awesome string of movies on TV on Saturday. First there was Bridge Jones' Diary, which is one of my favorites. Then Shanghai Noon, another one of my favorites. Followed by The Omen (the new one) - not very good. Oh well. 2 out of 3 is not bad. I also discovered Colonial House on PBS which I LOVED. That show is awesome. It's like an educational reality/documentary show where they take 17 people and make them live it's 1628 and they're building a new colony in America. They have to follow the social guidelines and hierarchy of that time, and do all their work by hand. They eat things like muskrat (ew - which tastes like catfish or fried chicken, depending on which "settler" you asked), and plow their own fields, and don't shower. I found it fascinating and definitely recommend watching it.

On Sunday we went grocery shopping, in a major way - Costco, Trader Joe's and Pavillions. Max and I spent most of last week clearing out the fridge and pantry by eating all the weird odds and ends of food we've accumulated over the past few months. It always amazes me how we collect food we don't eat - 1/2 a bag of old egg noodles, random can of baked beans, a head of cabbage left over from Josh's july 4th party at our apt - I assume someone mistook it for a head of lettuce. The plan was to clear out the fridge and pantry and restock up with ingredients for some carefully planned meals. So Max drew up a terrific master grocery list and we now have all our food planned for the next three weeks. Last night we had spaghetti. It was strange - I had this total flashback to my childhood. I was napping on the couch and I woke up with a start, a bit bleary-eye, and it actually felt and smelled like it did when I was younger. I think it was the spaghetti - we bought the same brand of sauce my mom used to use, and Max was browning meat into it the way she would and my first thought, when I woke up, was to wonder if I had finished all my homework. Hah!

Yesterday night we went to play poker at Tyler's and to watch his big game show debut on tv. I guess he was a contestant on a new show called Camouflage. He did pretty well, but didn't win anything. Neither did Max or I at poker - sadly. Oh well, it was fun.

The List

I was talking to Erin about my new August resolutions and she told me that she actually keeps a gigantic check list of things she wants to accomplish every day. Hmm. Naturally, this has inspired me to make up a huge obsessive spreadsheet. I've only designed it for six weeks, until I go to Hawaii. Six weeks to a Better Sareet. A few of the things on my spreadsheet/list to do or monitor are:

1. Floss
2. Vitamins
3. 8 glasses of water
4. Calories consumed
5. Alcholic beverages consumed
6. Exercised
7. Walked Pig (at least 30 mins)
8. Pig Tricks (spend some time teaching her a new trick so she'll stay mentally stimulated)
9. Money spent
10. Mind Improvement (have to do something each day that will keep me mentally stimulated - like a crossword puzzle, sudoku, or learn about something)
11. Work Quality - graded as follows: Owesome, Weak, Lame (suggested by Benjamin, inspired by Harry Potter naturally)

Have done rather poorly these last two days. Definite gaps in some areas and too much in others. Will have to strive to do better.

I'm not sure what this crazy obsessive spreadsheet will really accomplish and I'm not sure why I think I need one but somehow I'm convinced that my life will improve and be more meaningful. Will keep blog posted on my progress!

August First

Can you believe it's August already? Where has the year gone? I remember that I thought briefly on July 1st that it was halfway through the year and I should examine and renew my resolutions (what were they again???) but then I proceeded to forget all about them and now IT'S AUGUST. We're in the second half of the year. It's almost Christmas. Good lord.

Max and I will be going to Hawaii in six weeks! SIX WEEKS!!! I'm fatter than I've ever been. Well, since high school at least. Honestly, I had sort of given up trying to get in shape. A few weeks ago it occurred to me that it's SO hard for me to slim down, but remarkably easy to put on weight so I just decided that I should stop fighting nature and "do what I do best!" Maybe I AM supposed to be sort of squishy in the middle. I really gave up - I even stopped setting my alarm to 6:30 a.m. under the pretense that I'd get up and go to the gym. The result has been a bit alarming - I'm practically forced to wear sweatpants to work as nothing seems to fit. So I guess that whole "do what I do best" thing might have been a bad idea. Am going to have to start working out (or at least thinking about working out) again. Luckily Max and I are also trying to save a bit of extra money for our Hawaii trip which means no more going out to eat, and definitely fewer trips to the bar for the next six weeks, so hopefully that will help reduce my steroid sized muffin top.

Feeling a bit reflective. Or is it reflexive? I have always, even when I was little, loved First of the Months and Sundays. They're an excellent time to think positively and regroup and renew your goals. Right. Like it doesn't matter that just last night I was eating Ben & Jerry's Americone Icecream by the quart and ordering expensive shit off the internet and sleeping in my make-up. Because that was yesterday. Today is today. Today is a fresh day. Today is the first day to being A Better Sareet. It's funny, on a side note, how I like to think about these things but have absolutely no interest in reading self-help or self-improvement books. Or actually truly accomplishing any of my goals. But - no - think positive! It's August First! Today is the day I am going to start being:

1.) Healthy. I will watch calories, exercise, drink lots of water, take vitamins, limit alcohol intake, floss, exfoliate, get my wisdom teeth removed, etc.

2.) Financially responsible. I will pay my overdue bills, return things I bought for camping but didn't use such as those glow-in-the-dark-bug-repellent-bracelets (oh yes I did) and learn to determine the difference between "needs" and "wants" (Prince's new CD is a "need" and his new perfume is a "want"...)

3.) A better employee. I will work harder and quit messing around on the internet and reading about Chef Gordon Ramsay on whom I've developed an unpleasant crush. (Might be a bit late for this one today seeing that it's almost 4 p.m. and I've accomplished very little - oh well there's always tomorrow)

4.) A better dog mom (teach Pig a new trick), family member (stay in touch with everyone), girlfriend (stop subjecting him to Columbo), friend (remember upcoming birthdays), citizen (no longer allow Pig to poop on the street), and neighbor (no longer hide said poop in neighbor's trash can)

Yes. I'm going to start doing all of these things.

Except that I'm going over to Erin's tonight to watch Top Chef where I will undoubtedly eat lots of junk food and drink lots of white wine and make fun of the contestants and gossip. Which will probably be followed by me picking a fight with Max when I get home, not flossing, sleeping in my make-up, waking up hung over, skipping the gym, skipping Pig's walk in the morning and dragging Max to the diner near our apt where I will proceed to order over $20 worth of breakfast foods.

Ugh. Maybe I will start being A Better Sareet on Sunday instead.