Can you believe it's August already? Where has the year gone? I remember that I thought briefly on July 1st that it was halfway through the year and I should examine and renew my resolutions (what were they again???) but then I proceeded to forget all about them and now IT'S AUGUST. We're in the second half of the year. It's almost Christmas. Good lord.
Max and I will be going to Hawaii in six weeks! SIX WEEKS!!! I'm fatter than I've ever been. Well, since high school at least. Honestly, I had sort of given up trying to get in shape. A few weeks ago it occurred to me that it's SO hard for me to slim down, but remarkably easy to put on weight so I just decided that I should stop fighting nature and "do what I do best!" Maybe I AM supposed to be sort of squishy in the middle. I really gave up - I even stopped setting my alarm to 6:30 a.m. under the pretense that I'd get up and go to the gym. The result has been a bit alarming - I'm practically forced to wear sweatpants to work as nothing seems to fit. So I guess that whole "do what I do best" thing might have been a bad idea. Am going to have to start working out (or at least thinking about working out) again. Luckily Max and I are also trying to save a bit of extra money for our Hawaii trip which means no more going out to eat, and definitely fewer trips to the bar for the next six weeks, so hopefully that will help reduce my steroid sized muffin top.
Feeling a bit reflective. Or is it reflexive? I have always, even when I was little, loved First of the Months and Sundays. They're an excellent time to think positively and regroup and renew your goals. Right. Like it doesn't matter that just last night I was eating Ben & Jerry's Americone Icecream by the quart and ordering expensive shit off the internet and sleeping in my make-up. Because that was yesterday. Today is today. Today is a fresh day. Today is the first day to being A Better Sareet. It's funny, on a side note, how I like to think about these things but have absolutely no interest in reading self-help or self-improvement books. Or actually truly accomplishing any of my goals. But - no - think positive! It's August First! Today is the day I am going to start being:
1.) Healthy. I will watch calories, exercise, drink lots of water, take vitamins, limit alcohol intake, floss, exfoliate, get my wisdom teeth removed, etc.
2.) Financially responsible. I will pay my overdue bills, return things I bought for camping but didn't use such as those glow-in-the-dark-bug-repellent-bracelets (oh yes I did) and learn to determine the difference between "needs" and "wants" (Prince's new CD is a "need" and his new perfume is a "want"...)
3.) A better employee. I will work harder and quit messing around on the internet and reading about Chef Gordon Ramsay on whom I've developed an unpleasant crush. (Might be a bit late for this one today seeing that it's almost 4 p.m. and I've accomplished very little - oh well there's always tomorrow)
4.) A better dog mom (teach Pig a new trick), family member (stay in touch with everyone), girlfriend (stop subjecting him to Columbo), friend (remember upcoming birthdays), citizen (no longer allow Pig to poop on the street), and neighbor (no longer hide said poop in neighbor's trash can)
Yes. I'm going to start doing all of these things.
Except that I'm going over to Erin's tonight to watch Top Chef where I will undoubtedly eat lots of junk food and drink lots of white wine and make fun of the contestants and gossip. Which will probably be followed by me picking a fight with Max when I get home, not flossing, sleeping in my make-up, waking up hung over, skipping the gym, skipping Pig's walk in the morning and dragging Max to the diner near our apt where I will proceed to order over $20 worth of breakfast foods.
Ugh. Maybe I will start being A Better Sareet on Sunday instead.