The Skankier One... 

Here he goes!!! 

Happy Bride 

The Wedding Dress of All Wedding Dresses 

Last Week's Recap

I'm back!!! And glad to be too. ElliotPreciousPants' wedding was awesome, but Michigan was COLD. Brace yourself for a a long recap...

So I left LA on Tuesday morning. Security was ridiculous - the lines were so long that even though I was trying to get into terminal 1, the end of the line started in front of terminal 2. Some oldish lady asked if she could cut in front of me. She was strange actually - she just came up to me and said "Can I stand here? I'M SO OLD." But she didn't look old at all, so I spent several Seinfeld-esque minutes trying to catch a glimpse of her driver's license. Anyway, the flights were uneventful, I got to Detroit, and we went to dinner at this Chinese restaurant. Went back home, did laundry (I actually packed dirty clothes - gross, I know), and then passed out on the futon.

Woke up Wednesday morning to my mom laughing hysterically at Ellen DeGeneres. Apparently, that's her new favorite show, and after every episode, she calls some random poor relative who happens to pick up, and subjects them to a recap of the show. Luckily, she doesn't do this with me, although every time I call her, she inevitably asks me "Did you catch Ellen today by any chance?" Even though Ellen airs in LA at 4 p.m. and I'm at work (usually). Anyway, Ellen had Tom Hanks on the show, and I guess she named this turkey "Tom" and I woke up to my mom saying to my sister "TOM - SHE NAMED IT TOM - HAHAHAH - GET IT??? TOM HANKS??? TOM TURKEY??? ELLEN'S SO FUNNY" Okay, Mom. Anyway, we were supposed to get up early and go to Cracker Barrel, one of my all time favorite restaurants and go shopping at Birch Run but we just didn't get up early enough. We did make it to Cracker Barrel but then I had to take off to Bay City, to get fitted for my bridesmaid dress. Which I fit into (yay!) but it had to be LET OUT by an inch in the waist (boo). It sort of changed the shape of the dress a bit, since it looked more tree-trunk-ish, but as my mom kindly pointed out, that's the shape of my body so there's not much you can do about it.

After the dress fitting, I headed towards Elliot's parents' house. Unfortunately, a huge snow storm started up and I nearly died - twice. I'm not going to get into it, because it's too morbid, but I really did almost get into two accidents. I also got lost, and it took me nearly two hours to find the house, even though it should have taken me about fifteen minutes. Anyway, I finally got there and hung around until people started to show up for the bachelorette party, which was lots of fun. First, there was the sex toy party. Now if you haven't been to one, it's basically like a Tupperware party, but the woman tries to sell you sex toys instead of containers for leftovers. It was funny and outrageous and we passed around sex toys and taste tested whipcream and flavored massage oils. Then came the strippers. Yes, strippers plural, even though I only ordered one. For some reason, he brought two friends. He was supposed to come as a cop, but apparently he had lent his uniform to a stripper friend, so he came as a fireman instead. Mrs.PreciousPants cooked up a story about there being smoke in the garage, but let me tell you, there was just no way that anyway would have mistaken him for a real fireman. Especially since he didn't have a top on (just the yellow pants and red suspenders). And came in with his radio. Everyone was screaming and laughing as the stripper started. Elliot looked scared and nervous. Fireman Stripper was impressively built and really knew how to shake his ass. At one point, he asked her to lay down on her back and I could tell Elliot was really apprehensive. But it was just a good ploy to get tips - he asked everyone to put dollar bills on her and he'd take them off with his teeth. For the record, Mrs.PreciousPants was the one sticking the dollar bills down Elliot's v-neck top. Anyway, when Fireman Stripper started licking her, I found it necessary to yell "MILD!!! MILD!!!MILD!!!" Clearly Fireman Stripper had not been properly briefed. (I was given the choice of "Mild" or "Wild") Then he started to work the room, and danced with Mrs.PreciousPants and a few other girls. I have a confession to make here. Even though I was totally the one who suggested the stripper, I was terrified of him, and kept hiding from him. In the meantime, one of the other guys, who also was a stripper (I recognized him from the photos), was really getting into the music and said he wanted to dance so we said, go dance and then next thing we knew, he was stripping. Two strippers for the price of one!!! Anyway, this guy was much skankier and gave several girls a real revealing look (Fireman Stripper kept his underwear on). Elliot cracked me up. She didn't want to touch either of them, (apparently she thought that was illegal) so she just kept sticking dollar bills in the "safest" areas she could find - like in the stripper's hair bandana, or right at the side of his waist, far away from any scandalous parts of his body. After the strippers left, we took a limo out to the bars and continued to party. It was tons of fun - although Bay City guys are weird. We made Elliot wear a t-shirt that had a check list of things she had to do, like buy a condom from the men's room, or dance on a table. Anyway, we had the hardest time finding a hot guy who'd do a tequila shot with her. First, we had a hard time finding a hot guy and then even when we found them, they wouldn't do it. One guy said he was afraid I was going to drug him. Yeah, buddy. You wish.

Next day was Thanksgiving. We had a turkey lunch with all the trimmings at my Mom's place, and then I fell asleep watching the Lions, which is a good thing. Went to my dad's afterward, who had prepared an awesome prime rib roast. This thing was good. After dinner, we watched extreme dodgeball and a terrible show called The Glutton Bowl. Watching competitive eating is really not a good thing to do after a nice dinner. But in case anyone was wondering, that crazy hot dog eating Japanese guy beat everyone hands down. I think he ate like 55 brains, compared to the next best guy, who managed to eat about 20. See, gross right? I'm getting nauseous just typing about it.

Woke up late Friday morning. Drove back up to the bridal shop to pick up our dresses and meet up with Elliot. Then we went to the wedding rehearsal, and then the dinner and then went back to the house. We went to bed at around 11, but we stayed up talking so Elliot finally fell asleep at around 1:30 a.m. I, however, didn't fall asleep until 3:45 a.m. so it was pretty brutal when we got up at 7:30 a.m. the next morning...

Saturday morning, we got our hair done. I requested no curls, so the woman put it up in some sort of fancy french twist thing. I looked like a scary Republican 1950's housewife, especially after I put on the pearls I was going to wear. Good lord, it was bad. Luckily, Mrs. PreciousPants had some more appropriate jewelry so I borrowed that instead. Went to the church and got ready. Elliot's dress was awesome. Very princessy - it was very puffy and had a huge train. It took nearly fifteen minutes to get the dress on, so luckily she didn't have to use the restroom very often (she had to take it off before she could go). The ceremony was beautiful and I even Milli Vanilli-ed my way through the hymns. Thank god for all those years of music lessons. We went on a trolley afterwards, stopped at her Uncle's house (he was too sick to go to the ceremony) and then stopped at a bar. Apparently that's a Bay City tradition - stopping at a bar between the ceremony and reception. We had a few drinks and took off for the hall. The reception was tons of fun, the food was great, I was really nervous giving the toast and it's not something I ever want to see on video, but nonetheless, I had a terrific time. I spent the night at the Fairfield Inn. I thought I'd be scared but I was so tired I just passed out and probably could have slept until four the next day. But luckily, I set an alarm, checked out and headed home.

Flight back was uneventful. My dad dropped me off super early, anticipating huge lines at the airport, but it took me only 15 minutes to get my boarding pass and make it through security. Unfortunately, he dropped me off at 4:30 and my flight didn't leave until 7:15, so there was a lot of sitting around.

Anyway, I'm back! Pig is fine but smells - she needs a bath. Max is fine and does not smell but is sick so I'm trying to stay away from him.

Oh and everyone in Bay City thought I was a hooker. The only Asian people in Bay City are the women at the local brothels so that would probably explain why all the men were staring at me.

Calories Schmalories

Days until I get fitted for the bridesmaid dress - 2.

Crispy Creme donuts consumed today - 2.

Ice Cream sandwiches consumed over the weekend - 3.

Alcoholic drinks consumed over the weekend - n/a (my family reads this blog)

Walks taken with Pig today - 0.

Trips taken to the gym since September - 0.

Not fitting into a bridesmaid dress....pathetic.

Weekend Recap

You know that crazy Pistons/Pacers brawl that was on tv Friday night? I was watching the game on TV but managed to miss the actual fight. Man was I pissed. And it's all Max and Pig's fault. I blame them both equally. Max, being the big dog spoiler that he is, had for some reason decided to give Pig nearly a cup of leftover fettucini alfredo after dinner. I yelled at him about it, explaining that dogs should not eat fettucini alfredo and has he ever tried to pick up doggie diarrhea???? Then, with less than ten minutes left in the game, Pig started whining like crazy and really really wanted to go out. She was relentless. And it occurred to Max and me that maybe this fettucini alfredo didn't agree with her. So with two minutes left, Max says, well, that game's over anyway, so I decided to take Pig out for a walk. Turns out Pig is a big DRAMA QUEEN FAKER and was totally fine and when I got back Max was like "oh my god - you missed the craziest brawl ever in sports history!!!"

So Saturday was my official Last Football Game of the Season BBQ party. It was great fun and some people showed up who I haven't seen in a while, so that was nice. Max's mess o'stuff went over well, although it was so spicy that most people could only have a little bit. I grilled the burgers and they actually turned out fine, even though I forgot about them and left them on the grill for a long time.

Highlights of the day:
-Iowa beat Wisconsin(so I guess that means we get to go to the Rose Bowl)
-Kate & Matt brought a huge package of ice cream sandwiches and there are still at least fifteen of them left over in the freezer
- Jason is apparently obsessed with the Wizard of Oz and at the end of the rather long drunken day, he serenaded Pig with his rendition of Somewhere Over the Rainbow and then danced around in my apartment like a Munchkin
-Tyler passed out and enveloped himself into Pig's dog bed - very amusing. (and while I love Pig, the dog bed is not necessarily something you want to nestle your face in)
-Jessi's imitation of the sales guy trying to sell her the Ram-bone (sp?) at a sex toy shop - apparently it comes with free lube!!
-Got my hair cut and colored for the big wedding

Not-so-much Highlights of the day:
-Michigan losing
-Tyler trying to tackle Pig
-Tyler trying to sit on Pig
-Tyler falling down - a lot
-Tyler crashing into me, causing me to hit my forehead on a kitchen shelf

Sunday was basically a recovery day for me. I sat around a lot, I think. Oh, and I dealt with bachelorette party stuff. Took Pig to the celebrity dog park where she became a different dog. Swear to god - she nearly ran circles non-stop and then tried to dig a hole in the middle of the park. Very cute.

Benihana

So last night I took Max to Benihana, as a thank-you present for taking care of Pig while I'm gone next week. I love Benihana - it's the perfect restaurant for me. I love places that have some sort of gimmick, and there is no better gimmick than a man building an onion volcano in front of you and flicking raw shrimp tails into his pocket. I was a bit disappointed with the rest of the people at my table though. No one seemed particularly excited by the culinary show so I decided to make up for their lack of enthusiasm by ooohing and ahhing loudly. I even applauded a few times, and I think the chef appreciated that. Of course, the big problem with Benihana is that it's super smoky in there and you basically need a shower right afterwards to wash off all the grease particles that have landed on your face as you eat your dinner. I discovered the tell tale signs of a Big Bad Zit on my Chin, as I was washing my face last night. Coincidence? I think not.

8 Days to Go and I Give Up

It is far easier to alter a dress than to alter my body.

I am going to raid the secret Halloween stash under the fax machine cabinet now.

thursdaythursdaythursdaythursday

Went and saw The Incredibles last night. Awesome movie - everyone should go see it. We even got lucky and got free popcorn and a drink cuz some girl in line had an extra coupon and didn't use it. Also, I had a post movie David Schwimmer sighting, so all in all in was a fun night. I see more celebrities at movie theaters than anywhere else. To date I've spotted: Ben Affleck, Gwyneth Paltrow, Ben Stiller, Christine Taylor, Rob Morrow, and Henry Winkler. And now David Schwimmer.

So this morning Max and I decided to have one last football game party this Saturday. Michigan plays their archnemesis OSU. It's the last game of the season, if you don't count the Rose Bowl game, so we decided to go all out and actually BBQ this one last time. Max is making his mess o'stuff, which is this super spicy mess o' hotlinks, peppers, onions and tabasco sauce. I think we're going to grill burgers, hot dogs, and brats. Definitely calls for a trip to Costco. We figure we'll provide the bbq'd items and everyone else should bring the rest. I'm looking for a good grilled veggie recipe. Open for suggestions - post if you know one.

Another Hump Day

So it's Wednesday. Again. Go figure.

Not-so-great or Bad Things That Happened or will Happen today:

1. Water shut off in my apartment - they are replacing the main pipes and if I need to pee (or poop, because hey, that happens too) I have to use Apartment #9's bathroom

2. Staff Meeting

3. Got caught by neighbor singing "Beautiful Pig..." to the tune of "Beautiful Girl" from "Singing in the Rain" while walking Pig today. Goes like this: "Beautiful Pig....you're a lovely picture, Beautiful Pig...you're a gorgeous mixture..." How embarassing. Incidentally I also like to sing "Beautiful" by Snoop Dogg. Goes like this: "Beautiful...I just want you to know...you're my favorite Pig...."

4. Have used 12 vacation days this year, but am allowed only 15 and there's still Xmas and New Year's to go

5. Was going to a screening tonight of "Life Aquatic" followed by a Q&A with Wes Anderson, but he cancelled at the last minute and is sending his editor and composer instead

Good Things That Happened or will Happen Today:

1. Apartment #9 is vacant

2. Have not had to pee or poop while at home

3. New Assistant showed up

4. New Assistant appears fairly promising - seems intelligent and enthusiastic

5. Bagels

6. Found leftover Halloween candy hidden under the fax machine cabinet at work

7. Spotted a used condom on the sidewalk on Santa Monica Blvd. before Pig did and managed, just barely, to prevent her from picking it up

8. Booked Xmas flight - got a decent flight for $300

9. Going to see "The Incredibles" tonight

10. Slept well last night - only woke up once and fell back asleep very quickly


So all in all, a fairly good Hump day.

Pig's Dislikes

Pig does not like Goth freaks and retards. Or may be she just does not like people on drugs.

Up until today, the only person she's ever barked atwas this Goth guy who was all decked out in black leather, chains, black lipstick and big scary hair. She hated this guy and pretty much tried to bark him out of the apartment building.

And then today, we met someone else she didn't like. I couldn't tell if he was retarded or on drugs because he was looking very spacey and strange. Late 20's, shirt was all open and he had his arm around a much older woman. As Pig and I approached him, he suddenly stopped and asked in a very erratic way "Is that a Dalmatian? Can I pet him?" So, I was like sure (not bothering to correct him about the fact that Pig is a girl), the guy bent down to try to pet her and she actually backed away. He kept trying, and she sidestepped out of his way and when he tried again, she started barking.

She also does not like Pugs, Corgis, squirrels, cats, and getting her nails trimmed. And being woken up in the middle of the night.

Things That Can Wait

I just called my mom to tell her about how work was picking up and how my financial affairs should be in decent shape this year. I had to shout, because there was a lot of background noise on her end of the phone - it sounded like she was standing in a rain storm - and finally I asked her what the hell was making all that noise. She replies with "I'm in the shower!"

Good lord. I do NOT need to talk to my mother while she's in the shower.

Late Night Idiocy

Okay, 3:00 a.m. is totally not the time to contemplate the direction of one's career.

Yes, it happened again. For the fourth non-Nyquil night in a week. Woke up and couldn't fall back asleep. Otis and Usher (oddly) tried to get in my head, but I managed to keep them out. Couldn't keep the "hmm....am hating my job need to find a new one...." loop out though. Or the "oh god, why did i do that (fill in the blank with embarassing moment from five/ten years ago that bears no importance at all to present life)???!!!!" And then I started on the "poor Pig. got to find a place for her over Xmas vacation...oh gotta book plane tickets before i talk to mom or else she'll nag me again..." Finally I got up and read Lemon Meringue Pie Murder - A Hannah Swensen Mystery. Yes, another book in that ridiculous cozy mystery series. In this one the words "scrumptious" and "morsel" were used. SO CRAPPY. But I just can't stop. I read Strawberry Shortcake Murder last week, too. I'm such an addict.

So either my mind is launching a huge subconscious conspiracy to prevent me from going to the gym, or maybe I'm actually stressing out about all sorts of things. Of course, if I am feeling stressed, the best thing to do is to exercise, but I can't friggin' get to the gym because I can't get enough sleep, because I spend two hours awake in the middle of the night. Last night, I got so bored I actually woke up Pig and tried to get her to play with me. Mean, I know. But she was quite uncooperative, gave me one of her signature "shut-up" grunts and refused to get out of bed.

Ugh. Am so sleepy now...

Weekend Recap

I have only two words to describe this weekend: Dayquil and Nyquil. Man, the last three days have been nothing but an alternating sea of green and orange liquid grossness. Separated by an occasional cup of

oh fuck. i just remembered i left brownies out on the kitchen counter....i hope pig doesn't find them...

okay, just ran home, she didn't get to them, and now i've brought them to the office so everyone else can get fat.

Anyway, oh yes...Separated by an occasional cup of chicken noodle soup. Being sick sucks. I blew my nose so much that at one point, I noticed my nostrils had taken on a different shape. Luckily, they didn't stay that way (they were all pinched looking and super skinny).

I think my mind is trying to sabotage my efforts to go to the gym. Last night, I went to bed at 10:00 p.m. I didn't fall asleep until after 1 a.m., so of course, I overslept and couldn't make it to the gym this morning. To make matters worse, because I couldn't fall asleep, I found myself eating two brownies and a slice of turkey (don't ask - it's like I'm pregnant in the middle of the night) at 12:30 a.m., while watching a rerun episode of The Practice. This morning, there were actually brownie crumbs in my bed. Yuck.

SP2 meets Nordic Track

So, maybe someone has thought of this already, but I think that they should merge video games with treadmills. I would definitely be more likely to exercise if, for example, I was in a foot race against the Mario Brothers.

I decided last night that today would officially be the first day of Operation Phantom Bridesmaid Dress, whereby I would stop talking about working out and launch an extensive exercise attack (five days a week on the treadmill for 45 minutes, 3 weight lifting sessions, 2 yoga classes, 2 pilates classes, walking Pig an hour a day) But since Otis kept me up (see below) last night, I overslept this morning...again...so I guess it'll just have to start tomorrow.

Late Night Madness

So last night, Otis Redding woke me up at 3:00 a.m. and wouldn't let me get back to sleep. Not literally - it's just that I had been listening (and singing along badly) to this great Otis Redding song called Try A Little Tenderness earlier in the evening, while I was doing the dishes. If you've heard the song before, you know it's awesome, and it sort of crescendos into this crazy, staccato, frenetic ending. At least in the version that I was listening to, which was a live recording.

Oh here - I just found the lyrics. Gives you an idea of how intense it gets at the end...

You've got to hold herDon't squeeze herNever leave herYou've got to hold herAnd neverSo you got to try a little tendernessA little tendernessA little tendernessA little tendernessYou've got toGot to got toYou've gotta hold herDon't squeeze herNever leave herYou gotGot got got toNow now nowGot got got toTry a little tendernessYeah yeahTendernessTendernessYou got got gotYou got toHold herSqueeze herNever leave herGot got got got got got gotTendernessOh yeahTendernessLittle tendernesGotta lord you gotta hold herSqueeze herNever leave herSock it sock it sock it sock it sock it sock it sock itTendernessGot toGot toTry a little tendernessA little tendernessA little tendernessA little tendernessYou gotta gotta you gottaYeah gottaOh lordYou gottaHold herSqueezeNever leaveGet to herSock it to herWith a little tendernessLittle tendernessLittle tendernessYou gotta hold herSqueeze herNever leaveTendernessLittle tendernessTenderness

Haha. The way it pasted is exactly how it was going through my head last night. Non-stop. On loop.

So anyway, of course when you wake up in the middle of the night, you start stressing about things that you can't do anything about in the middle of the night so it sort of sucked for about an hour until I finally fell back asleep.

Another Golden Girls Dream

Okay, seriously, I'm not making this up, but I keep dreaming about the Golden Girls. It's actually been a really long time since I watched an episode but for some reason, they keep popping up in my sleep.

Anyway, Sunday night, I dreamt I ran into Rue McClanahan (Blanche Devereaux) at a coffee shop. She had a little white dog with her and she didn't look quite as old as she did on the Golden Girls Reunion Special (on Lifetime, of course) but not quite as young as she did during the series. Now normally, I never go up to celebrities. But I was totally compelled to in my dream, and I did that whole "HEY YOU'RE BLANCHE DEVEREAUX FROM GOLDEN GIRLS, AREN'T YOU??? I'M SUCH A BIG FAN!!!" thing. She was sort of distant and uninterested so I decided to prove to her what a huge fan I was by QUOTING LINES SHE SAID ON THE SHOW. I can't remember what I said exactly but I think I quoted some lines from the episode where she's upset that Dorothy's lesbian friend likes Rose instead of her. Also the episode where it turns out Rose was dating a midget. Anyway, I sort of followed her around the coffeeshop going on and on about Golden Girls while she tried to avoid me. That's all I remember.

What the hell does that mean??

Weekend Recap

So I'm recovering from a cold that everyone who I hung out with on Halloween has now or got last week. I have my suspicions of who the carrier monkey is, but I won't stoop so low as to out them here. (you know who you are....)

Anyway, Friday night, I took my "fugly" pie to Kate's place, where everyone insisted that it was not "fugly" - just "rustic" and "earthy." Gives you an idea of what it looked like, doesn't it? Big and clumpy. Jessie, Andrea, Kate and I polished off about $8 worth of Chuck over some Trader Joe pizzas, which were excellent. We looked at some inappropriate websites, made fun of a few exboyfriends, and I went on and on, as usual, about how I'd like to rent a RV and be white trash (difficult, since I'm Chinese) and hang out at trailer parks and drink beer and wear white jean shorts and midriff shirts. And a mismatched scrunchie.

Saturday was totally uneventful. I've forgotten what I did already. Hmmm. What did I do? I honest to god can't remember. Knowing me, I probably pitter pattered around the apartment, took a long nap, read some crappy book, and took Pig out.

I spent most of Sunday sick on the couch, watching endless hours of Lifetime tv movies. Seriously - I got through three. The Mary Kay LeTourneau one was by far the most disturbing. Ick. Luckily, I felt better by the evening so I could go to Wimmin's Poker at Cody's. It's funny really. Kate called me, asking whether or not she thought anyone would mind her germy state of runny nose and cough. I asked her whether or not she thought anyone would mind that I too had a cold, and some sort of eye infection (which I did - not quite "goopy" (Cody's description of pink eye) but definitely pink and crusty...ewww gross) So I called Cody, who as it turns out, had a stuffy nose so we decided we were probably all okay to play. Kate kindly picked up a bottle of hand sanitizer so we could keep our hands clean while playing. Turns out Rebecca was recovering from a cold, and when I walked in, Laura was nursing a glass of Vitamin C, so it all worked out just fine. We made up for the lack of super-girlie talk (per our last poker gathering) by drinking champagne and hot chocolate with whip cream. I came in second, and lost to Cody (again - dammit) so I think I may very well have to invest some time in practicing online before our next session.

Birthday Wishes

Happy Birthday to my little sister and my dad - Nov.7th and Nov. 8th respectively!!! Less than three hours apart - not literally (clearly my dad is not three hours older than my sister)

Blah Blah Blah in my Head

Baked the ugliest apple pie yesterday. Full on FUGLY. (FUGLY is short for fucking ugly - I'm explaining it here mainly for my aunts, cuz I'm guessing they may not have heard that term before - I find it's used most often when describing unattractive women - or at least that's how I use it) It's so fugly I'm really embarassed to bring it to Kate's house tonight. I don't know how I managed to do it, but it's even worse than the first one I made. Thank god we're all friends and hopefully no one will make fun of it too much. I was thinking about making a pear pie...I wonder if that would taste good. Max pointed out there's probably a really good reason why no one makes pear pies but I told him he should think outside the box. He replied with "Should think outside the CRUST." Get it? HAHAHAH. I actually laughed out loud at that. God, I'm so easy, it's really sad.

Am getting very excited about ElliotPreciousPants wedding and bachelorette party. Whoo hoo!! It's going to be fun. I'd like to post about it, but seeing that she reads this blog, I'll just have to talk about it after the wedding. I wonder if I could do a secret post and lock her out of it.

Nope, just checked. Can't. Too bad.

So I don't have any big plans for this weekend, although I'm hoping we can get a game of Wimmin's Poker going on Sunday night. Got beat last Saturday night so I'm looking for payback.

Hmm....wonder what's for dinner tonight? Kate may cook or may order in, depending on whether or not she feels well.

Alright, now I'm really blathering...hey it's lunchtime...yay off to lunch...

Halloween Pics

 

 

 

Regency House Party

Okay, last night on PBS, I discovered my newest favorite reality series - it's even better than Dog the Bounty Hunter. It's a British reality series called Regency House Party and TV guide describes it as "Jane Austen" meets "The Bachelor." Here's a description:

Talk about trippy time travel! This series, which first aired on British television, takes 10 present-day single men and women back to the early 19th century. In the "age of romance," they learn what it was like to live when touring Europe was a rite of passage for affluent families, duels settled quarrels, courtship was conducted with the utmost flair and discretion, and some of literature's greatest works were written.

So awesome. In the episode I watched last night, the Lady's Companion broke her short "engagement" to Captain Robinson because she discovered the local Hermit, who's a rugged-looking hottie. The men participated in a series of competitions that included a sack race and some strange relay race called 100 Stones, in an attempt to win the affections of the other ladies. Then two women snuck into the men's quarters to leave "tokens" (a small bunch of flowers) for the men they liked. Educational and Victorian smutty!!

And, turns out it's available on Netflix, so now I know what I'm doing this weekend.

(in case any one was wondering, I've finished my Cheers Marathon - they only have Season 1-4 available on DVD - sad...)

Kerry's Concession Speech

After e-mailing a few friends I discovered I'm not the only one who actually CRIED during Kerry's concession speech. Makes me feel a bit better.

I do wish however that I wasn't watching it in the conference room with a bunch of STUPID GLOATING REPUBLICANS.

If you haven't met Max before, here he is

Max as Charlie Brown

I love this photo

Worst Hump Day EVER

iamtoodepressedtoblog....

Election Day

All I want to do today is watch CNN. Non-stop. Even though they say the same things every twenty minutes...

Went and voted this morning. There was a very amusing fight between two pollster volunteers about how to organize the lines and direct voter traffic. Best part was when one super bitchy man complained about how the other super bitchy man couldn't pronounce street names and demanded that he repeat after him, the proper way of pronouncing "Hammond." Ahh...West Hollywood. Everyone in line snickered. The ballot was a little confusing at first, because I didn't understand how the "dots" thing worked but it turned out to be some inky pen thing that colored in the circles. I voted along party lines, as usual, and voted on a few of the various propositions, but skipped over some of the local judge elections.

Tonight Julia is having an Election Party. I think I'm going to propose an Election Drinking game. One drink for every battleground state Kerry loses. That way, if Bush ends up being President again, I'll be too drunk to care. And if Kerry wins, I'll be sober enough to appreciate the moment.

Weekend Recap

So to quote the lead singer of the Oom Pa Pa band, this weekend was "Super, Excellent, Fantastic!!!" I need an extra day to recover from all the craziness.

I had people over for the Michigan/MSU game on Saturday. It turned out to be a much bigger party than I had expected so it was really fun. Best part was that Jason brought a big bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. So old school. I'd forgotten how good that stuff is. It was my lucky day - the two sides he got were my favorites - mashed potatoes and colesaw. Awesome. Worst part of the day was when ABC stopped airing the game and switched to the USC game, right before we made a touchdown that then tied the game and took us to three subsequent overtime periods...which we totally didn't get to see. At that point just about everybody called someone from Michigan and got their updates that way. AD would also shout out whatever play by play action he got from his brother. It was really funny actually. And we won, so yay! Later, a few of us sat around and played poker. Then there was a spontaneous dance party in my apartment and we just danced around for awhile (to basically the same three songs over and over again) before finally heading out to a bar called Red Rock...where we were the only non-costumed people. Anyway, it was a great day.

Sunday night, I got to experience what it must be like to be a celebrity. I dressed as GoGo Yurabi and a whole bunch of my friends dressed as other characters from Kill Bill as well. We walked down to the West Hollywood Costume parade and everywhere we went people would point out that we were from Kill Bill. It was like we were famous. Someone even asked to take a picture with me. We were missing a Bride, so everytime we saw someone dressed as the Bride, we'd take a picture with her. I also took a whole bunch of pictures with other GoGo's. The crazy thing is that everytime we posed for pictures, there would be other spectators walking by who'd take a picture of us too. GoGo never smiles but I was having such a good time that I think I was pretty much grinning in every picture, so even though I may have looked like her, I don't think I quite channeled her evil energy. Anyway, it was just really crazy. I mean, I've never had anyone stop and ask me to take a picture with them! There were several scary moments though when we were trying to walk past a stage where some guys had a fire throwing show. The streets were packed and we were literally chest-to-chest with everyone. Luckily, Rebecca was leading the way and we were able to get through it but there were some tense moments where I was really afraid something would happen and we'd get trampled. I mean, that was totally the kind of environment where people start pushing and someone falls and dies. While I didn't get impregnated as I had joked (that's how packed in everyone was) some creep did grab my ass.

Oh, and I peed in a porta-potty for the first time in over a decade. I go to great lengths avoiding those things and once I got in one, I remembered why, but nevertheless, it was sort of a historic moment for me.

Anyway, it was a Super, Fantastic, Excellent weekend.